Since you’re not adept enough at social cues to get that the article was written somewhat tongue-in-cheek (and that’s a reference about humor, not anything else you might think about tongues and cheeks), let me offer this advice: If you are interested in a woman at work, and you have reason to think she might be interested in you (BTW, smiling, saying “hello,” and wearing a shirt that is not buttoned so high you can’t tell if she has an Adam’s apple or not are not reasons to think she might be interested in you), you may ask her if she’d be interested in seeing you outside of work. I recommend actually using the phrase, “outside of work,” to let her know that while you are at work, you will continue treating her as a colleague and fellow professional, but you would like to see her at a time and place at which it would be appropriate to treat her as a possible girlfriend.

You may ask her ONCE. If she says, “No,” you may not ask her again. You should accept her “No” gracefully and casually. You should not say or do anything to indicate that you hold it against her. You should not pout or weep or call her a bitch or storm away in a huff. You should be able to do this whether her response is, “No, I don’t think my husband would like it,” or “You’re a sweet guy, but I’m seeing someone else,” or “Sorry, I’m gay — I thought you knew,” or “No, but thanks for asking,” or “No, I like to keep my work life and my personal life separate,” or “No, I’ve just been through a messy breakup,” or “Eww, not if you were the last guy on earth,” or even a simple, “No,” because she doesn’t owe you an explanation of why she is saying no. If you cannot do this, you should not ask her out.

If she says, “Maybe,” or “Let me think about it,” or such, the ball is in her court. You may not ask her again unless she brings the subject up first. Her “maybe” may really be, “I’m not interested, but I don’t know how to say it politely, and/or I’ve dealt with guys who haven’t handled rejection well, and maybe if I ignore him, he’ll just go away.” Or it may simply be a “maybe.” If she’s interested, you have given her the opening to bring it up again. Likewise, if you have asked, and she has said, “No,” she knows you’re interested and will likely let you know if she ever changes her mind.

If she says, “Depends; what did you have in mind?” this is a signal that you and she may not be on the same page, relationship-wise. You may ask her again, with more specifics. Make sure to get more information from her, too, particularly to find out whether she would consider such an outing a date or just two friendly people from the workplace doing something interesting together.

If she says, “Yes,” congratulations! Wait till after work to set up the details with her; keep your personal life on your own time.