HOW TO LIVE WITH ANXIETY
A lot of people ask me how I deal with my anxiety. For the past 2 days I’ve been hit with this old beast, so I thought it was time to give you all the insider tips.
For those that don’t suffer from anxiety (lucky you), this emotion has the ability to send you into a complete spin. You move at a ridiculously high speed, can’t sit still, normally coupled with debilitating thoughts and pretty much do everything you possibly can to avoid the feeling and the pain. It’s a fricken nightmare! For me, I eat the entire house, then my stomach bloats up, then I feel guilty and then the anxiety heightens. It’s a never ending destructing circle. It’s the fucken pits.
What happens is it completely takes you away from the present moment and you have no sense of gratitude of your current position. The trick is to come back to the now, love yourself unconditionally and allow the feeling to pass. Take one step at a time and use my below 5 tips to get you from A to B. Read on..!
On Sunday morning (yes Sunday) I woke at 6am with anxiety. My feet were restless, I wanted to get up and run but I was absolutely exhausted. There’s a very big difference to being energetic and experiencing anxiety. It didn’t help that the night before I had, had a tonne of sugar!! (ridiculous I know! but my body is SO BLOODY sensitive). So what did I do? Instead of lying there with my thoughts, getting angry and trying to fight it, I decided to get up and write. I acknowledged the thought, accepted it and then worked out the best possible way to love it and let it pass. Do not fight it.. this does NOT WORK!
I poured myself a cup of tea, I got out my journal and I downloaded all my restless and relentless thoughts onto paper. I poured everything out of my brain and dumped it in my journal. Now I do this everyday so my ability to declutter these days is pretty fast. After 15 minutes of writing, I was done. My body had started to relax, I was yawning, and it was time to nestle back into my pillow and go to sleep. I then re-woke at 9am. WINNING! So easy and so quick. No fights; just acknowledgement, compassion and acceptance. This is the trick.
Now in the early days, it used to take me a good hour to declutter my brain, so go easy and keep writing until you can feel your body melting, you’ve got to let go of the thoughts so you can settle more comfortably back into you.
My friends are going to laugh at this, because for years I was resistance to oils. So resistance! I found them “hippy”, weird and frankly a bit odd BUT I’ve been proven wrong. Essential oils are the shit! They work like little pots of magic and soothe your soul. I’ve chosen my basil essential oil as my go-to for anxiety. It calms my adrenals and gives me this overwhelming sense of balance and softness.
I’ve been told the best oils for anxiety is sandalwood, vetiver, cedar wood; anything that is grounding really. I’m going to start selling these bad boys soon, so stay tuned! I rub it on my adrenals, my feet, my temples. I lather the shit out of it but you probably only need a little. I tend to be an extremist!
What is this whack word? Abhyanga is an ayurvedic technique where you massage sesame oil (organic) all over the body. This is a beautiful practice I learnt in my Tamara Toga Teacher Training and it completely calms my nervous system. Perth is an extremely windy city (2nd in the world infact) so the ability for anxiety to derail is heightened. Anxiety = air, Perth = crazy amounts of air. Like increases like, thus anxiety lifts! Confused? Private message me.
I lather myself in sesame oil (yes you have an excuse now) and leave it on for 30 to 40 minutes. It’s best to do this and lay with your legs up the wall, lie on your bed, read a book or even self-pleasure (next topic). If that’s not possible though, just put it on your body and continue the day. It’s much better to get it on than not at all. Try and do this three times a week, or if your anxiety is OUT OF CONTROL.. then go with everyday!
4. Self pleasure
SHOCK-HORROR! I mentioned self-pleasure on the internet. KILL.ME.NOW! Now this has been the missing link to my spiritual practice. I pretty much thought that by meditating, practicing yoga, eating organic food and being a zen master would bring me to love my self and my body. WRONG WRONG WRONG! Self-pleasuring (and yes I mean touching my vagina) has bought with it heightened levels of self-love and a new found sense of complete comfort and love in my body.
When I say self-pleasure, I do not mean rubbing your clitiros until it is red raw (god help me), I mean connecting with your yoni (sanksrit word for vagina). This might mean just placing your hand on her telling her you love her (sounds weird but you’ll get used to it), or getting coconut oil and rubbing it all over your body, or it might mean buying a crystal wand (Rosie Rees can hook you up) and placing it inside your yoni and connecting with the energy of this. Whatever it is, this is not new age people! These practices were adopted and practiced by women thousands and thousands of years ago, it’s just we’ve all become so uptight and conservative that we’ve lost them along the way.
One of my favourite things to do first thing in the morning is to connect with my body and my yoni. (If you have a partner, then by all means, connect with your partner — is there anything better than morning sex?) Rubbing oil all over my body, holding my body in a loving embrace and feeling pleasure in my body is quite frankly the best fucken way to start my day and when I do, I GUARANTEE you there is no anxiety! Self-pleasure is the BEST practice for self-love. So get to it… you can thank me later when you’re orgasming your day through.
The ocean is the greatest source of mother nature and is the most feminine, cleansing and calming activity that you can do. You literally immerse yourself in water, let yourself float and it soothes your entire body. You are literally being bathed and held by mother nature. What could be better?!?! Sex? Yes I agree!
I make sure that I get in the ocean AT LEAST twice a week. Working in the city, the energy is constant. It’s a masculine environment, driven by busy-ness, deadlines and fast paced movers. Everyday it’s a matter of wiping all this energy off my body so I can slip into my divine feminine state; the ocean is the best way to do this!
You say it’s too cold?. Funnily enough, it’s even better when it’s cold! A freezing cold swim, followed by a boiling hot shower, coupled with sesame oil all over my body and a movie snuggled up with a lover. Give me MORE of that!
Right! So there are my 5 tips on how to deal with anxiety. As mentioned, I’ve been battling this beast for the past 2 days (and all my life) and these were the EXACT things I did and IT WORKED! I ALWAYS practice what I teach so I am living proof that this shit works.
Now of course there’s yoga, meditation, eating well blah blah blah. But I wanted to give you were some out of the box tips that help me on a day-to-day basis. Yes I meditate everyday, and yes I practice yoga everyday! So do this everyday coupled with the above and your on the clear path to being anxiety free. Of course anxiety can also be a deep-seeded unresolved emotional issue and if this is the case then please seek support from a psychologist or counsellor. Needing recommendations? Then hit me up.. I believe, I know the best in the business.
At the end of the day, it’s just about acknowledging the emotion, loving the emotion and working with it (not against it). You can’t heal what you don’t feel. So feel the emotion and adopt the above techniques to help soothe your soul and calm your body. These thoughts and states will pass, nothing is forever, so focus on loving yourself unconditionally, in all states, and you’re on the pathway to the all clear.