I agree with your approach with your daughter, but let me offer a counter example. My stepdaughter acted like your daughter whenever my husband and I took her away on vacation. She was fine coming to our home for half the week. She hated being away from her mother and would cry and scream at the prospect of going away to visit her grandparents with us in another state. She would call her mother and her mother would call her numerous times during our visit, undermining our time together.

After the initial separation anxiety, she was happily engaged in our vacation, until her mother called and ramped her up again.

The mother would send my husband emails admonishing him to learn a more “respectful” parenting style. That meant over-indulging the two children in the way she did, as far as we could tell.

All I am saying is that these difficult custody arrangements are not always simple. Sometimes the parent the child is reluctant to stay with is parenting in a destructive way. Sometimes it is a control issue. Sometimes there is deliberate manipulation and attempts at parental alienation.