Could My Kids Embarrass Me Anymore…

Kids will be kids.

My children are little sarcastic comedians. They know humor and can understand sarcasm. In fact, it’s part of their blood. They have a mother and father who could laugh at the drop of hat — when hearing potty talk. It’s just a part of who we are. However, there are times when things get out of hand where I want to crawl up in a hole and hide from the entire world. Here’s a few instances in which I was flushed with red cheeks from embarrassment.

What’s a Condom

One day while at the store, my daughter came up to me and in loud voice asked, “What’s a condom, mom.” Normally I would answer immediately without being embarrassed, but everyone around me heard and I could hear their snickering. I told my daughter that this would be something we could discuss at home, but she insisted by asking again. Needless to say, we were out of the store very quickly.

It’s the Swamp Monster

This one is more funny than embarrassing, but I couldn’t leave it out. One day while at the zoo with my kids, we were on one of the trails when all of a sudden I heard a clop. I turned around to find my son face first in a pile of mud. He had tripped on a rock and went down big time. When he looked up at me I couldn’t help but laugh. His entire face was brown, his clothes were mud streaked, and he was crying while I was trying to keep a straight face. Onlookers were amazed and some gave me dirty looks. It wouldn’t have been the same fun trip without this!

Yelling at the Wrong Kid

Well, this one I brought on myself. My son and daughter where in one of those play zones at the mall when all of a sudden I look up and can’t find my son anywhere. As I was in panic mode searching I found him at the drinking fountain, with his back turned to me. I yelled at him telling him how worried I was and to never wonder off again. The boy turned around confused — it wasn’t my son. He was standing behind me. I apologized to the mother and got the hell out of there.

Poop is Meant to Be Flushed and Piss Goes in the Toilet

Being a mom to a little boy has it’s perks, but it also has it’s downfalls. So here’s one I’ll never forget. We were preparing dinner for my boss that night. I told the kids that the house needed to be clean, no toys out, clothes, etc. They did as they were told and when my boss came over the house looked great! During dinner, my boss excused himself to go to the bathroom. As he walked away my son screams, “Please don’t go in there — I forgot to flush.” At this point I was dying of embarrassment. How was my son supposed to handle this one. Luckily he ran into the bathroom, cleaned it up, and my boss went to use the bathroom. Humiliated.

Am I Raising Burglars

So, again we are at a play area and the kids are having a great time. No one is lost, everyone is laughing, it’s just an all round good day. We stayed for about an hour and then we left. As we were walking to my car, a crazy lady started chasing us telling us to stop. When she came closer she asked if her daughter could have her silly putty back. Confused, I told the woman I didn’t know what she was talking about — until I turned around to find my daughter crying and handing over what she took. Good times!

Farts are Natural

My son has always been an exhibitionist and couldn’t get embarrassed unless I started kissing him in front of his friends. He is a typical boy, and what I mean by that is he’s just gross. Potty talk, smelliness, dirt — this is my son. One afternoon while having lunch at a restaurant with a friend, my son decided to let one rip. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I must’ve turned bright red! My friend started laughing which wasn’t the worst part; It was when he got up. Yep, I ran home to do laundry very fast. More good times.

These are just some of the situations I’ve encountered. My life is eventful and my kids make life full. If ever I need a laugh or to embarrass myself, I definitely know where to go!