4 Steps To Stop Looking Back and Start Moving Forward
Our past can be a rusty sword we wield to hold ourselves back. Laying down the weapon that is our past and shifting our focus forward, is what will actually help us move forward.
So many times I’ve thought about the future in excitement, only to catch myself halfway and have a little voice remind me of my past. I’m not talking about memories of strolling down the beach with my cousins. I’m talking about the nagging little voice that says, “Steeeeph, remember what happened last time you did something challenging? Failure is what! We don’t want that to happen again. Put the dream back in the safe and lock it shut. It doesn’t belong to you.”
No? That doesn’t happen to you? Liarrr….
Jokes aside, it’s basically like trying to drive, to move forward, while staring in the rear view mirror. Not going to get very far are you? Treeee! {CRASH} told ya….
That’s rear-view mirror syndrome.
When you spend so much time looking back at your past (and letting it hold you back) the future looses it’s potential. The past (or rather your thoughts about it) are literally (and at times physically) holding you back from reaching new heights.
On the other hand, once we let go, we’re able to move on much quicker. Crazy isn’t it? All the time you spend looking in the rear-view mirror could be spent looking out of your windshield, living in the moment, creating, building, and taking in the view.
I know it’s scary to think of letting go. But let me ask you this: you’ve spent so much time letting your thoughts keep you prisoner of a time that is no longer yours, how has that gone? How has it worked for you? What do you stand to lose if you choose to let go? What do you stand to gain? I have a feeling that one highly outweighs the other.
I imagine those thoughts as a ball and chain attached to my ankle…while I’m running uphill. It’s hard and stressful and fucking exhausting. Other than the fact that I’ll never actually reach my destination, the process freaking sucks man!
How can it not when we’re constantly carrying our own dead weight?
So give it a shot. Let go of those thoughts. When they arise, thank them for bringing said puzzle to your attention, and then talk yourself off the ledge. Share objective facts with yourself. Recall all the times that you’ve succeeded, grown, and overcome. If you can’t think of any call a friend that will show you your own brilliance. And if neither of those are options then make something up. Imagine yourself in a situation where you succeed. Feel the pride, the self-love, and the sense of accomplishment.
That is what you have to look forward to. Enjoy the drive. Roll down the window, feel the air blowing in your hair, singing at the top of your lungs. Look up at the mountains in amazement, and pay attention to the road. What’s behind you is no longer relevant, what’s ahead of you is the destination, and the car you’re driving is your process. Love it, embrace it. The future will be yours before you know it.
Action Steps.
- When you notice unhelpful thoughts of your past arise, pause. And just breathe for 1–5 minutes. Exhale deeply.
- Bring to your awareness instances that prove your capability. Call a friend. Or make it up- but feeeeeeel it.
- Take one step forward, no matter how small it might feel. Do something- now. Whether it’s making your bed or going for a walk. Stay with me, in the here and now.
- Repeat. This is life. This is THE journey. This is THE process. Teach yourself to enjoy it. Revel in the opportunities.
Let’s Hang!
If you connected with this blog, you can follow me on Instagram at @stephanierosezoccatelli or connect with me via e-mail at steph@stephanierosezoccatelli.com.
