This Feeling of Missing You…

Human race is filled with all kinds of issues / problems… Yes that includes myself..Quite often I convince myself and find myself saying “There are people with worse problems”- and it helps. Have you ever wondered? The circumstance in life for you is very much different to that of any other. You have all the right to feel down and low, you have the right to feel disappointed and to miss someone whom you badly want by your side.

For the past 7 ad half years I’ve been championing the art of sweeping dust under the carpet only to realise that all that dust has piled up to an extent that there is no more room to hide. I’ve been hiding a fact! Hiding a feeling, that no one would understand but me.

Only to realize that I will no longer have that shoulder to cry on, the knowledge bank to fall back on, love to rely on, happiness to depend on — This feeling just kills me!

I couldn’t talk about it for the longest time and finally when I could I was surprised. Even to refer to you in a memory or an example I was able to do it. Have I become much stronger? Or have I lost the feeling of missing you? I was confused…

They said time will heal, but they lied! Not a day goes by that I miss you so bad. When I hit the point which is so down and low it all comes crashing down like a waterfall. This fragile side no one will know and I would not allow anyone to see. But how long can I hide? Is it the right thing to do? My heart aches as I deal with it on my own. My heartaches are mine, and others — they have their own and let me not burden them with mine — Motto of my life..

You’ll never be there to let me know if I’ve made the right choices or not. You’ll never be there to walk me down the aisle, Nor will I have that father daughter dance that I dream of for many different songs.. Wish I could scream and cry!!!

This strong side which I project yes I’ll continue to do so. But there will always be days I’ll cry it all out in a corner hoping you see the pain. At the thought of you.. Veins Burst — Vision Blurred — Tears flow and Void felt. When will this drill ever end?


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