Tips For The Hottest Love Life EVER

The things women magazines don’t want you to know.

Welcome to Part Three of an ongoing series aimed at decoding everything female! Is there something you’re dying to know? Leave your burning questions in the comments and we may consider it for a future installment!

Only amateurs use candle wax.

Use the flame part instead.

Turn up the thermostat.

We recommend at least 82 degrees — more if you’re trying to save your marriage.

Want steamy?

Crank up the humidifier. They’ll be sweating you in no time.

Go to Dallol, Ethiopia.

Otherwise known as the hottest inhabited place on Earth.

Get in the kitchen.

Throw a turkey in a hot oven to roast for a few hours. Also boil some potatoes on the stove and maybe make some stuffing, too. All that residual heat from the cooking elements will have them sweating in no time.

Slip in to something more comfortable.

We recommend fur, flannel, or those adult onesies that look like cartoon characters. Here’s the tricky part: you have to keep them on while you’re getting frisky.

Invest in a heated mattress pad.

Keep things hot by keeping where you get hot, hot.

Slip a few of those instant hand warmers from the gas station into their pants pockets.

Hot and bothered? Yes, please!

Get that windswept look.

Hold a hairdryer in front of your face for at least five minutes to get a healthy, pink glow and just a touch a sweaty sheen to show them how hot they make you.

Two words: hot sauce.

Please don’t make us explain this one.