Friend zone to end zone

Ah, the friend zone. We’ve all been there. I regret to say that I’m becoming a permanent resident there. Got my own parking space.

But how does one successfully move out of the friend zone and into the end zone? (I heard James Corden use this phrase once and I liked it, so I’m adopting it.)

I seem to have a real knack for becoming such good friends with a guy that I do myself out of any possible relationships. Who’s the girl they come to for advice about other girls? That’d be me. Who’s the girl they talk to about all the girls they’re trying to “pull”? That’d be me also. It’s great and all, I love being the female friend, but I wonder whether that’s all I’m ever going to be seen as; a friend.

It’s plagued me my whole life. I’m either just too funny and likeable for my own good, or I give off the “friend” vibe to everyone I meet. Whatever it is, it’s getting old now.

Although, I think it’s been that long since I’ve been around someone that I’ve genuinely wanted to flirt with, that I’ve lost my game (if I ever had any.) If it was scientifically possible to revert back to being a virgin, I’d be well on my way. I’ve no shame in admitting that, well, almost no shame. I’ve convinced myself that I’m waiting for a good, decent person, just like when I was eighteen. Yes, I waited until I was eighteen, virtually unheard of nowadays.

Sex is a significant part of human life; an instinct, a need even. Living without it for a considerable amount of time makes you question things. Does not sleeping with random people make me boring? Am I weird because my friends are doing that and I’m not? Is that why I get grumpy so often?

I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I do know this. I’ve resisted for so long while waiting to find someone, that I’d be annoyed at myself for giving in now. I feel like I have to continue to show integrity here. Stick to my guns. Even though sometimes it feels like I’m back at school, feeling the pressure to do things that are expected of people my age.

When I was younger I never imagined this would be my situation. I was foolish and thought the boyfriend I had at age seventeen would be the same one I’d have for years to come. And by extension, I never thought I’d be lacking in those areas, you know what I’m talkin' about. I was obviously very wrong. But does this mean that I should give up on my morals, say what the hell and go home with the first guy who humps my leg in a bar?

I should hope not.

I may be in the friend zone with a lot of different people, but sooner or later one of them has to lead to the end zone.