goop x sd — grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup

Stephen Dawson
Sep 4, 2018 · 6 min read
goop university grad

“You’re not a chef, you’re a cook. It’s creepy.”
— Kelly Killoren Bensimon

Real Housewives of New York City (Season 3, Episode 12)

I may be revealing too much about myself, but I have a complicated relationship with grilled cheese. During my tenure as an intern I was given a daily $20 stipend to pay for lunch. Unfortunately I also had to eat dinner so I was left with an even $10 for each meal. Breakfast wasn’t necessary. There was a deli on the block of my office that offered a grilled cheese and fries lunch special conveniently priced at a point that still allowed me to purchase a full size Toblerone to end the meal on a sweet note. The grilled cheese was saturated in grease to a degree I have yet to experience in my lifetime and the fries were congealed to a point that you were unable to determine where one ended and another began. These were flavors that my palate was receptive to at the time. Sometimes I would let my creativity get the best of me and add bacon. The seedlings of my present career as a food preparer were there from the start. I am just seeing them now for the first time. I think I had one everyday of my internship. I know for sure that I got sick within 30 minutes after finishing each sandwich. After completing my internship I consciously vowed that my relationship with grilled cheese was over.

As you can imagine, landing on grilled cheese and tomato soup as my first recipe to try out from Gwyneth Paltrow’s culinary tome entitled “It’s All Easy” was guided purely by these previously unearthed emotions. It was also advertised as great for busy moms which is my brand (now).

GP’s rhetoric around this classic dish was equally infallible and intoxicating: “I haven’t met a kid (or grown-up, for that matter) who doesn’t love the classic combo of grilled cheese and tomato soup. I love making soup with garden tomatoes I’ve slow-roasted all day and homemade chicken stock that has been simmering on the stove for hours.”

photo of a fan

My decision had been made for me. That dreamscape would be my reality.

I didn’t and still don’t have time to slow roast tomatoes all day or make homemade chicken stock. Store bought options are fine. Especially for busy moms. Making soup should be as simple as seeing which brand is on sale, opening the can gingerly so as not to submerge the lid in the liquid, and heating up the liquid to a reasonable temperature. A comfortable level of difficulty. That is sadly the world that I have left behind in my radical lifestyle change. In my new world making soup involves previously untapped fine motor skills, tears, and financial/emotional investments. The recipe begins easily enough by sauteing onions in butter and oil. I cut the onions with a serrated knife which resulted in uneven sizes and many close calls with self inflicting wounds. I cried. I was informed that the best way to avoid the tears from an onion are to wear contacts. A seemingly impossible feat to attempt in the moment given the fact I don’t have a prescription. I hate bragging but my vision is actually pretty good. I do have a pair of prescription glasses but those are more for aesthetic purposes when I want to be taken more seriously. A number of the onions did burn at the bottom of the pot however I chalked that up to adding character to soup.

Smooth sailing followed as I added in a can of whole tomatoes, tomato paste, and some garlic. I realized at this point that I wasn’t really cooking anything because the heat was so low after my scare with the burnt onions. I ratcheted up the heat and potential for drama. For additional flavor you should add in salt and pepper to taste. Additionally GP stresses the importance of adding 5 (five) large basil leaves. In numerology, 5 is the most energetic of the single digit numbers so I understood that choice. What I couldn’t qualify was buying fresh basil leaves. I used expired basil flakes that I was gifted in a costly Williams and Sonoma seasoning set many years ago. I couldn’t quantify the conversion rate between fresh whole leaves and expired flakes. I added a pinch and a half before moving on.

Coming in as the final ingredient, the addition of cream was paired with an “optional” tag. This is a false premise, there is no option. You have to add the cream. Otherwise you are ingesting, from my understanding, chunky tomato and chicken flavored water. I used more cream than permitted. I also put it in too early. GP couldn’t resist the urge to troll me at the end when she casually mentions that you should slip an immersion blender into the soup to puree the mixture and reduce the size of the ever present whole tomatoes. I don’t have that item. I waved a rubber spoon through the mixture a few times and pushed the large tomatoes towards the bottom to create the illusion they had been broken up. I’ve seen Top Chef and know how important presentation is. The soup is done. Rather, I am done with the soup.

The grilled cheese was radically simpler than the soup on paper. Although apparently that still left room for error. I was simply instructed to toast the bread in a toaster and then melt the cheese on the toasted bread under the broiler in the oven. GP lets on that this is way to make the grilled cheese because it is more British to make it open-faced. In the spirit of all things Meghan Markle I also commit to only making recipes as British as possible from now on as well. Forget those old days making and consuming grilled cheese like a savage American. My oven uses an arcane hieroglyphics system for oven functions so I was (and still am) unsure if the oven was set to broil or bake. The oven was hot. My lack of tools undercut my abilities here as well. I shouldn’t have been shocked to realize that I don’t have a cheese grater. Attempting to achieve a level of “grate” with a soft cheese and a serrated knife was a humbling experience. As a result the nimble bread was topped with heavy chunks that melted unevenly. I am happy to report that I didn’t burn the cheese while it was in the oven and the oven was on. Once the British grilled cheeses are done, you can eat.

Due to my lack of small appliances at my disposal the soup turned out decidedly more rustic than even GP’s taste in home decor. Although one (me) might argue that makes the soup more British! It tasted fine. I wish I could employ a more robust adjective however my efforts left me desperately trying to remember what Campbell’s tasted like and a desire to price check various cheese graters on Amazon. As I shelve the cookbook back on top of my refrigerator I can’t help but run my fingers over the title, “It’s All Easy”, before laying it to rest. Certainly parts of this experience were easy. It was not “all” easy. Easy is a relative word though. Perhaps a better title would be “It Should Be Easy” or “Eventually This Could Be Easy”. Also I like “It Could Be Harder”. I’m sure that with the right ingredients, appliances, and techniques though “It Could Taste Better”.

Stephen Dawson

Written by

cooking and writing my way through gwyneth paltrow’s sacred texts.

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