This One Thing

I’ll say this one thing — college is crazy. Rather, my senior year of college has been one of the most testing and challenging times of my entire life. What’s interesting about it, I think, is that for the first time in my entire life everything is actually completely my responsibility. Without exception I have no safety net to fall back on. If I fail.. I fail.

For whatever reason, I am taking it upon myself to take a short break from all my various responsibilities on this cold and rainy November evening to say I am not sure how much more I can take. Before I delve too deep into a pathetic tangent, one in which I’m not sure I’d be able to escape, I will say there is quite a great deal of good happening right now and for that I cannot complain.

I’ve assumed various roles at my university in the Blue Ridge Mountains —where I have been attending for the past year— and I could not be more satisfied with the opportunities, responsibilities, and situations I have inevitably found myself in; good or bad. Despite great successes and incredible advances in my chosen field of study, I am truly beginning to fully discover what it means to say ‘college sucks.’ Please excuse the casual nature of that term; it seemed fitting.

I guess that’s just what it’s supposed to be though, right? If for a moment I thought a full load of education, 40+ hours of work per week, leadership roles, and various activities in and around campus would be a good idea, then I was probably foolish. And maybe I’m right to be foolish in my thinking. Maybe discovering who you are as an individual, where you want to go, and how you desire to get there is all apart of an inevitable mountain you have to conquer.

If there is one thing I have taken away in this fleeting 2014 year, it is that as life goes on mountains grow taller. I guess it’s always been easier to simply walk around a mountain or even step over it — if that’s the case, it must be a pretty small mountain. Huh.

Circumstances are never really as straightforward or as simple as I would like them to be. That is, somethings take more thought and stress than others. But maybe that’s okay. Maybe life’s supposed to be filled with challenges and mountains that seem nearly impossible to overcome. Maybe I’m not even supposed to conquer every obstacle, and I’ve found out it’s okay.

Admittedly, there are a number of unknown variables in my life and, for many reasons, I have felt the pressure of life more today than almost any day this year. Despite that, I choose to not sweat the small stuff and to take this life one day at a time — or try at least. But first, this one thing: I cannot graduate soon enough.