8 New-Employee Relationship Building Conversation Topics
So, you got a new job! You’ve started meeting your new co-workers and you’ve gotten the small talk formalities (name and job) out of the way. Now what do you talk about with these new coworkers? As a new employee it is hard to break the barriers of not knowing your coworkers. And as much as you want to break through them, you have to be patient and persistent in getting there. It takes time to get to know people and it is not something that should, or can be, rushed. There is a need to keep working at it. Knowing one fun fact about someone does not mean you know them. And knowing 500 facts about them does not mean you know them either.
You must be persistent with your efforts to get to know your coworkers. People take notice when they see you are working hard, especially when your attention is on them.
Getting to know your coworkers and their interests affects your ability to perform at a high level. Plus, it is highly correlated to your general happiness about your work life. Work talk is going to happen organically, as that is the reason why you are there. But you need to be proactive in bringing up more personal get-to-know-you type questions. So, what else can you talk about besides work?
Here are 8 new-employee relationship building topics of conversation, with suggested questions and conversation starters:
1. Hobbies
“How was your weekend?” is a perfect Monday-morning question to ask to help you get to know your coworkers. Many times, though, they will say “It was good.” This is not helpful. Instead, try an open-ended question like this:
“What did you do this weekend?”
This helps pull out how their time was spent over the weekend and eliminates the easy “yes” or “no” response. You can then find out if there is an area that really excites them and how they prefer to spend their time.
Another great question is:
“What do you like to do outside of work?”
This is a classic question and is surface-level one, but it gives you clues about what their passions are. Your coworker may share that they like to mountain bike outside of work. Next time you see how their weekend was, you can ask if they did any mountain biking. Connecting the dots!
2. Family
Family can be a touchy subject for some. But, for the most part, it is fair game. If you suspect someone of being a parent (or animal-parent), try one of these question:
“Do you have any kids?” or “Do you have any pets?”
Very straight to the point, isn’t it? If you find out your coworker has kids or a pet you have a topic to talk to them about for the rest of your time with the company. Parents love talking about their kids and pets.
Be observant — does your coworker wear a wedding ring? If they do, you can ask them:
“How long have you been married?”
This is a great approach because you do not have to worry about asking if they have a husband or a wife — it could be either and you don’t need to be presumptuous. They will more than likely go into the details of how long they’ve been together, what their wedding was like, and what their spouse does. All great things for you to keep in mind.
3. Travel
Who doesn’t love to travel? What a great thing to talk about to get to know people and what they like to do. A nice perk about working with someone is they tell you when they will not be in the office. This is the opportunity for you to ask them:
“What are you doing anything fun with your day off?”
If their answer is “no,” they will explain to you what they have going on. Maybe they are moving or dealing with a flood at their apartment. Both responses give you the chance to learn more about them.
You may also want to bring up some of your travels. Upcoming travel is the best way to bring this up.
“I cannot wait for my trip to Jamaica in three weeks. I’m so excited to spend time in the sun!”
This tells your coworkers that you enjoy travel. And it lets them know where you are going and when, so they can then ask you more questions about it. It will help build a dialogue and a connection.
4. Hometown
Everyone comes from somewhere. This is good, basic knowledge to have about people you work with on a regular basis. This is a topic that is perfectly OK to bring up out of the blue.
“Where are you from?”
or
“Where did you grow up?
Either question will give you a better understanding of your coworker’s upbringing and how they ended up where they are today. This topic is open-ended enough that it teases out stories of when they were young or what activities they did while in middle school.
5. School/Education
Another classic topic is education. What school someone attended is a basic, yet a tried and true way to get to know your coworkers and what is important to them. Simply ask:
“What school did you go to?”
They will tell you, and then you can store this nugget of information away and use it in the future. Or you can ask further questions about their school like:
“Isn’t that in [City Name]?”
People will then get going about their glory days back in college. Plus, if you already know something about that school, such as their nickname or if their football team is any good, you can bring that up to keep the discussion going and find out if this is an area your coworker is passionate about.
6. TV Shows
People these days love to spend time watching shows on Netflix. If you haven’t watched the latest episode of Game of Thrones and come into the office the next day, you will feel lost. It seems that everyone is into one show or another and are immersed in the characters. This creates opportunity for relationship building. There are two great ways to lead into TV shows:
“I”ve been watching this show, [Show Name]. What you just said reminded me of this one episode. Have you seen that show?”
This response helps you weave the show into your discussion. It comes naturally and helps you connect what the current discussion is with something close to you. This, in turn, will help you create a bond with your coworkers, as they now know an area about you that is important.
“Do you watch _______?”
This is a straight-up question perfect for any new or highly relevant TV shows. The odds are, people are probably also watching them. Which makes for a great conversation starter.
7. Local Restaurants
As a new employee, you have the wonderful excuse of not knowing anything! Even if you are not new to the city you work in, you are still new to the area around your office. This is a classic question:
“Do you know any good restaurants around here?”
This opens the door for you to learn more about restaurants in the area, which you can frequent for lunch or dinner. It also gives you a chance to learn more about the preferences of your coworkers. They may love sushi and hate Chinese food. And you can the see if they want to join you for a meal, leading to more networking and get-to-know-you discussions.
8. Books
There are a few ways to weave books into the conversation:
“Have you read [Book Name]? What you just said reminded me of this part in that book.”
They now know that you are a reader. It may also build some connection with your peers, as they may have also read that book. Another approach:
“I just finished reading [Book Name] and it was so good. Have you read it before?”
In this instance, you need to ensure the book you are reading is appropriate and somewhat relatable or topical. If the person you’re talking to has read it, you can talk about it more. If not, you can ask them if they are reading something else at the moment.
Here’s the Cheese
Bringing these topics up out of the blue may seem daunting, but conversations need to start somehow! These conversation starters show that you want to share more about yourself and get to know others.
