First-Timers Guide to Quitting a Job
Let’s face it: quitting your job is scary. When getting remotely close to quitting your job, a lot of thoughts pop into your head: is this the right decision? What is everyone else going to think? What if my new job is terrible? These are all natural fears.
For some reason, millennials, especially, do not want to make people unhappy. The fear of making people unhappy, or disappointing them, is part of the reason why quitting a job is so daunting.
Quitting your job, however, is important for your career progression and provides opportunity to meet new people and have new experiences. And you will learn so much simply from going into an unfamiliar environment.
Understanding and coming to terms with the fear of quitting a job is the first step. From there, you can take action and move on to your next role. The process can be quite lengthy, and it can mess with your head. Stick to this guide and you will be set throughout the whole process from accepting a new job to your last day at that company.
Deciding to Decide
Before you actually quit your job, you need to commit to the decision. Deciding to decide what direction you are taking is often the hardest part. But this is the most critical point. You can still waver before you decide to decide.
The decision is the same for all three scenarios listed below — deciding if you want to leave the company or not. Rather than sitting around and letting life pass you by, procrastinating a decision, it is essential to decide that you need to do something about your career. Especially if you are unhappy, it simply isn’t worth it not to decide.
Here are three scenarios where deciding to decide is essential:
You have accepted a job offer with another company
Congratulations! You have accepted a job offer with another company. This is great news for you and your career! As a result of this, you know there is something that you need to do: quit your current job. The good news is, as a result of you accepting another job, the decision is made for you. You cannot turn back on the acceptance. You have already decided to decide.
You have another job offer on the table
Congratulations! You were offered a new job! The biggest challenge: you haven’t decided what you are going to do but you have decided that you may be interested in something else. A lot of “what if” scenarios happen. What if I tell my current company about the offer? What if I take it and my current company gets mad? In these situations you can defer the decision to what happens if something else occurs. For example, you decide that you will stay with your company if they give you a 10% raise to stay. Setting some kind of parameter around this decision will help guide you through the process and make the right choice.
You hate your job and need to get out
This should be the easiest, most already decided scenario, but is often the hardest to come to terms with. You may not have another job lined up, which makes it daunting to actually get out of your current role (what if I don’t have a paycheck?). But, on the other hand, your job is terrible and you have to go. Based on that, you need to decide if your unhappiness is worth staying or if quitting and finding a fresh start will be the right decision in the long run. This is a really tough decision that many people face but you control your fate here and you need to decide to decide.
Making a plan
Now that you have decided to decide and know you are going to leave, it is time to make a plan.
When is your last day?
Conventionally, two weeks notice is appropriate. What is two weeks notice? This is the practice of giving your current company a head’s up that you will be gone in two weeks. It gives them enough time to transition any of your work to someone else. It is a respectful amount of time. If you are able to give two weeks, you know the date of your last day.
In some situations, giving two weeks notice is not possible. This is OK, so long as you are leaving on the right foot and are not being disrespectful.
One common fear is that, upon providing your notice of resignation, your company will walk you out of the office. This is terribly unlikely to occur, especially for new employees. Don’t worry about this.
When figuring out what your last day will be, keep in mind timing if you are expecting to receive a bonus. As a new employee it is not likely your company will skip out on sending you your bonus check, but it couldn’t hurt to check on this. You can reach out to HR and ask them a hypothetical question (anonymously) about getting your bonus if you happen to leave. In order for it to be anonymous, you need to call — email doesn’t work. Trust us, this does work.
Select a date to hold the discussion
“The discussion” is the conversation you’ll have with your manager to break the news.
If you have to, or want to, provide two weeks notice, the decision for when this discussion will take place is already made for you: two weeks prior to your new start date.
If you do not have this luxury, you should hold the discussion with your manager as soon as possible. This will provide enough time to transition your current projects to other team members and is a matter of respecting your team, manager, and employer.
If your manager is out of town on the day you have to hold the discussion, see if there is a way for them to quickly hop on the phone. If not, you’ll have to talk to their manager.
Write down what you are going to say
Especially if this is your first time quitting a job, this is an essential step. You will feel more confident and comfortable after taking the time to think through and write down what you will say to your manager. It doesn’t have to be this big long speech (nor should it), but it must convey the critical points you need to get across. Important things to include are:
- That you received another opportunity outside the company and have accepted the role
- Your last day is on [this date]
- Ask about next steps (more on this below)
If you have an offer on the table and haven’t accepted it yet, you can try to negotiate for a better salary or benefits at your current company. This requires you to have an open discussion with your current manager. Important things to include in that discussion are:
- That you received another opportunity outside the company and are strongly considering accepting
- Why you are strongly considering accepting
Lastly, if you are quitting your job with no other job lined up, some things to include in the discussion are:
- That you are leaving the company
- Why you are leaving (be honest — no point in hiding anything at this point)
- Your last day is on [this date]
Practice, aloud, the conversation with someone you trust
Grab a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, parent and go through the conversation. Pretend that this person is your boss, which will help you prepare for the real thing. If possible, find someone who has quit their job before. Their experience in quitting will be helpful in getting you prepared.
Questions to prepare for
You are expecting to receive questions from your manager after telling them you are leaving. And you will receive questions. Here are some you should prepare for:
- What will it take for us to keep you?
- Why are you leaving?/Is there something we could have done to make you happier?
- How much money will you be making?
- Where are you going?
- What will you be doing?
Responses (non-questions) to prepare for
You also know there will be responses, maybe good and maybe bad, from your manager. Here are some to expect and prepare for:
- Congratulations, I’m so happy for you!
- I can’t believe you’re leaving
- I’m incredibly surprised by this news
Scheduling the discussion with your manager
Either schedule time the day of or the day before you need to provide your two weeks notice. If you’re doing it the day of, just grab your manager if they have 10 minutes free — no need to set up dedicated time for the discussion. If you do need to schedule time (if doing so in advance), simply set it up on their calendar as a status or touchbase. There is no need to include any more details about why you are meeting in the meeting description.
The Discussion
You are already prepared
You wrote down a script and practiced it aloud with someone, so you are prepared! Don’t forget that. Absolutely do not, ever, under any circumstance, read your script word for word when deliver this news. Why? It comes across as a weakness. You have already run through the script, so go off memory. You will be fine!
Be confident in your delivery
It is easy to waver in these situations where there is a bit of tension and awkwardness, but you have already decided to decide and know what you’re going to do. Unless you are trying to negotiate a better deal with your current company, stick to your decision. Your manager may try to pressure you into staying, but you have already decided. Be confident in how you deliver the message and it will come across confidently.
Embrace the pause
Pausing, and being silent is crucially important to the discussion with your manager. Do not underestimate the power of the pause.
Say what you are going to say (that you are leaving and when your last day is) and then pause. Wait for your manager to say something next and do not talk until they do.
Saying this makes it seem like it will be an eternity until they speak, but it will be, at the most, two seconds.
By doing this you are taking some of the pressure off yourself. You are turning it from being a script to a dialogue, which is what you want.
Answering questions/responding
Most of the time they will be excited for you and will ask questions, wanting to know more about the opportunity. A good manager wants you to do what is best for you as an individual, not for them, so while it may be surprising to hear the news, they should be truly happy for you.
Do not fear the response they may share. And keep in mind, you have already prepared for the questions they will ask you. Simply be honest in your response. Honesty will always help out in these situations.
Thank them
Once you’ve closed out the business end of it, thank your manager for being there for you and for their hard work (if you mean it). Show a level of appreciation towards them and what they have done for you — they have, after all, been managing you for some time now!
If you do not like them and they haven’t helped you, feel free to skip this step. Only share it if you feel it. Being genuine (or not) will show.
Ask what to do next
If you haven’t quit a job before, you have no idea what the process is once you put in you two-week notice. And each company has a different process. So you need to ask your manager what the next steps are to formalize your departure. Your manager will know what to do from an HR standpoint. From there, you should receive step by step instructions on what you need to do prior to leaving.
Wrapping up
Publicizing your decision
If you have direct reports, you must inform them first. They are your team and they have worked for you, so you owe it to them for them to hear it from you first.
From there, you should inform the rest of your team next, including any key business partners. Their work will be impacted as a result of your departure, so you need to ensure they are aware soon.
After that, inform your close friends at the company. Hey, people make friends at work. You should feel close enough with some of them that you want them to know.
It is common practice now to send an email out either on your last day to broadcast that you’re leaving, or send it a few days prior. This is a nice touch and is one final effort to broadcast where you’ll be heading and what your decision is. People often link to their personal email or LinkedIn profile so people can stay in touch — this is up to you.
Wrapping up projects
This is a big responsibility. You do not want to leave your company in a bad position by having a ton of loose ends on everything you are working on. Create a document where you list all of your projects, the current status, and recommended project owners moving forward.
Do this proactively so your manager does not need to worry about it — they will greatly appreciate it. And it shows that you are not just getting out of the company as soon as possible, even though you may want to. There is a level of respect, that is owed to your team.
Set up time with everyone on your team to ensure they know what is going on with each project and give them ample time to ask questions. Inform key business partners of the next project owner for each project.
Providing feedback
The truth always comes out when people are leaving. You learn quickly how people feel about the team and the company. The reason for this is because there is no pressure of repercussions as a result of what is said. Co-workers may confess to you that they’re looking externally as well.
Your final two weeks is a great time to share feedback on the team, processes, and the people you work with. Share feedback with your manager to help them improve as a professional. Tell them what works, and what doesn’t work from your perspective. You have nothing to lose, so be honest.
Going away happy hour
If you want, you can schedule a going away happy hour. Invite your peers and friends to this, as it is a fun, final way to see everyone one final time.
Last day
The last day is mostly a formality. Typically, you will come into the office at a normal time, say goodbye, wrap up any loose ends, and leave around noon.
It is definitely a weird feeling coming in on the last day, as you feel a weight lifted off your shoulder. You no longer need to track or follow any of the project or company-related items that had consumed your life.
Say goodbye to people that have impacted you on your last day. You may not see them again, but should make an effort to stay in touch!
Here’s the cheese
Quitting a job is a natural part of working. Think of it as graduating. You are moving on to something new and, hopefully, better. The next chapter is an important one, and one that will come with a lot of new learnings. And now that you’ve had the experience, you’re prepared in case you have to do it again.
Quitting a job is scary the first time, but is never as big a deal as you think it is.
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