As it happens, my friend also has a snorey spouse, and she’s comfortable sleeping on the couch as a solution.
As a Wife, My Family Treats Me Like an Extension of Their Home. I’m Tired of It.
Nami Thompson
4.3K37

No! No! No! Noooooooo!!! You must slap your husband across his face, really hard, like you’re trying to hurt him-because he’s really hurting you. When he reacts, albeit predictably angry or shocked, say this: “I wanted to make sure that you were alive because your stupefying behaviors indicate otherwise. You see, sweetie, when you snore loudly, like a Fu**ing T-Rex instead of sleeping, it not-so-gradually destroys your body-as well as mine. You’re not rested, your head is foggy, your blood pressure elevates and your kidneys are badly and needlessly beaten down.”

Then ask him like this: “Honey, do you love your child? Are you suicidal? Because a sane man would answer, yes and no! Yes, to loving your child and no to suicidality!”

If he’s not suicidal and likely loves his young child, then, for the fucking love-of-God, tell him to pull his fat head out of his ass and schedule a sleep study because it’s not just HIS health at stake; it’s the entire family’s sanity on the line! I’m also a relatively ‘clueless’ man, a father of two children, and yes…I also get on my wife’s nerves. Unlike your husband, though, I have a CPAP machine and I use it every night. Why do I use it? Because, at the very least, I’m not a selfish A-hole! I’m getting a rather strong impression that your husband IS a selfish A-hole. I hope that I’m wrong.