What’s The First Thing To Do After Being Let Go?
I was just involuntarily separated from the company that I started working at directly out of college 26 years ago.
I still remember when I graduated from college, my intent was to enjoy the summer windsurfing and hanging at the beach instead of working. In the morning I would do my obligatory job searching, then hit the water.
Well that plan didn’t work out to well because I soon received a call to come for an interview at a company called Pfizer. I had never even heard of it before.
I went to the interview wearing my best monkey suit and turned out they liked and hired me. Apparently they saw potential in me that I couldn’t see in myself at the time.
Well…
flash forward two decades later, and I am sitting on a video call with my two supervisors telling me….
“your position has been eliminated” and “I am sorry you will not be going forward in the new organization”. Crap!
How do you handle something like that?
What is the first thing you should do?
Well after the conversation my first instict was to plan and get all my ducks in a row.
I should…
Talk to HR.
Look at your retirement plan.
Look to see if there is a severance package.
check to see if you have medical yada yada
NO!
The first thing should do is STOP and BREATH and FEEL whatever emotions come up.
Fear, anxiety, nervousness, insecurity, doubt, despondency. What ever negative emotions come up just take some time to feel them and process them.
Scream, wail on a punching bag or pillow, cry, laugh, run, exercise, run, do kata…. What ever you need to do to release those emotions and feel them fully 100%.
I have learned that once I allow myself to feel all my negative emotions, they can come up as thoughts, feelings, body sensations, or images, they loose their grip on me. It does’t feel as bad or as real anymore.
Once the charge has dissipated I
Then I have choice…..You have choice….
to decide how you want the next part of your life to be written.
This is a monumental turning point in life. It can be a gift or a curse depending on what you believe it to be.
So what does choice look like?
Well it is choosing to find the value in adversity, the gift in difficult situations and peace no matter your circumstances.
It’s not the same as “putting on a happy face” or to “grin and bear it” or to “keep a stiff upper lip”. That “be strong and suck it up” attitude is the worst thing you can do. All you are doing is pushing down feelings and creating a false reality for yourself that will eventually crumble.
All those unfelt feelings find homes in you. They take up residence in your cellar structures as cellular memory in your shoulders, stomach, back, heart ect. and in your mind, which is even worse, because over decades they eat away at your mental health causing anxiety, stress, and depression.
So what can you do to stop it?
FEEL what you feel.
Feeling is not always that easy, specially if you have made a habit of pushing them down and avoiding them for a long time.
But by learning a new skill and creating a new habit,…
you can reprogram how you think and feel!
After I felt all my negative feelings and sat in the fire with them, I found center, and recognize the huge gift that I have been presented with to consciously write the next chapter in my life.
So what do you choose your next chapter in your story to be?
I will tell you mine next time….
To get in touch with me and see what I have been up to since I was retired check out my links below. If you are having difficulties making choices to move your life forward. I will be happy to help you.
Sensei Stephen
Captain@GoWithTheFloat.net
