Dear Inspector Gadget,

Stephen H Stein
Aug 9, 2017 · 1 min read

I get it. There’s no way a kid trying to float while being closely supervised by an instructor compares to setting up a fantasy sports team. We ALL get that.

And the alone time you now FINALLY have.

Totally. Get. It.

But dude, you can’t grab a seat in the front row by the glass and look down at your mobile workstation the entire time.

You are… a douche.

You’re not even pretend-looking-up at your kid.

What about the grandparents who came in this weekend for the Air and Water Show, and now THIS is the water show they’re forced to endure — from the back row?

Or the pregnant mom forced to pop up and wave each time Ashley Jr gets to the end?

You suck, dude. You totally suck.

-SS


Full disclosure: Yes, I’m aware the obvious hypocrisy.

Fuller disclosure: But I have snaps of my kid to prove otherwise.

Fullest disclosure: Not a huge crime. Just thoughtless and lame. Plus all the manspreading.


Every time you click that clap a puppy gets a belly scratch, an ear rub, AND a handful of super yummy crunchy puppy treats. But if you don’t, it gets the hose again. Just saying…

Written by

Have a nice day unless you have other plans.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade