Hotza

Because Pizzog is not quite as good…

Just saw this. Not sure how I missed it, but more importantly, how has this NOT been thought of before?

I’m in an executive’s office. It’s carpeted. There are two nice brass floor lamps and an original Nagel on the wall near the window. Two executives are sitting on two stuffed leather chairs facing each other. There’s a large fish on the wall. A marlin. I’m on its bill near the end. I’m a fly.

“Kids aren’t eating their crusts,” says executive A. “We’re getting letters.”

“Well,” says executive B. “Crust is like a rind, or a vestigial tail. No one wants that.”

“True, but what if we stuff it with cheese?”

“I guess that could help.”

The executives stare at each other.

“What if we stuff it with cheese and more sauce?” says executive A.

“Now you’re bringing your A game,” says executive B. “That’s a pizza with a calzone attached!”

“Ok, sit down. What if we stuff a hot dog inside the crust?”

“O. M. G. I can hear the valves to my heart opening and closing. That’s a pizza inside a hula hoop of meat!!!”

“Well, it would mostly be snout-”

“Hotza or Pizzog?”

“I don’t know. They’re both great! Hotza’s probably better.”

“Yeah. Definitely Hotza.”

The executives stare at each other. There is some electricity in the air. Even I can feel it.

“You know what I’m thinking of right now,” asks executive A.

At the same time both executives shout, “Mustard drizzle!”

I leave the Marlin. I’ve seen enough.