The Thing I Hate The Most (Two Things, Actually)

“I hate that I’m at the forefront of my business,” I shared with my mentor the other day. We were talking about the importance of branding yourself as a thought leader when you want to speak and teach and write.

“Really?” He asked, tilting his head with a bit of uncertainty.

“Hate it.”

I also hate signing my own book.

My guy is such a sweetheart, always sharing it with his friends and family and clients. Always pushing it out into the world, to people who need it. And always asking me to sign it for the people he’s gifting it to.

But the truth is, I hate signing my own book.
I usually won’t unless I’m pushed to.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my book.

I’m so very proud of the work that went into creating it. Over three years of writing tips boiled down into a year’s worth of our favorites. Working with my amazing team to get it ready to be published. Growing the following and seeing people order it from all over the world, thanking me for the words inside of it.

And I love my business.

I love writing and sharing and teaching and coaching. I love growing my brand and my audience, impacting more and more people as we go. I love this big body of work I’ve carefully crafted over the last five years. My business is a huge piece of me. It’s my legacy. I’ve poured all of me into it.

I just hate being at the forefront.
Having to sign the book.
Being in the spotlight.

This is something that many service based entrepreneurs struggle with, which is why I’m being honest with you right now. We just want to serve. We want to contribute and create and change the world in our own special way. We want to watch as our work touches the lives of others, as they grow and change and create what they desire. We want to watch it permeate the globe, reaching as far and wide as it’s needed. We love the creation and birthing process.

But the public part? That’s not easy.
And sometimes it even feels hard and yucky.

I get it. I totally do.

And yet here I am in front of you today telling this story.

Here I am, five years in, standing up in front of more and more people. Pushing myself and my little business further and further into the public eye. Building up my name and my brand. Taking on more of the spotlight.

Why?

Because that’s what the work requires of us.

Especially now when the world is starved for connection and transparency and genuine expression.

There was a point a couple years ago where I fell to my knees and offered myself up to something greater than me. The Universe, God, Spirit, Source. “Use me up and spit me out,” I said. All I’ve ever wanted is to be of service… to contribute and create and help others do the same. To leave the world, and the people I’m blessed to cross paths with, a little better than I found them.

And the direction I’m headed requires me to stand up, with as much presence as I can, and speak my truth. Share my words. Release the things that move through me. Get the word out. Help as many people as I can. Rally as many more as I can.

The work I feel called to do in the coming years is big. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s going to be met with a lot of resistance and obstacles along the way.

It requires me to stand firmly at the forefront.
Loud and proud and there for the whole world to see.

I don’t like it one bit. But it’s part of the work, and so I do it.
And I’m grateful, despite my discomfort, for every opportunity to show up.

Whatever your work is in the world, big or small, it’s going to require you to step out into the world and say, “hey, I’m here and I’m doing this thing.” It requires you to show up as fully as possible. To connect with truth and transparency. To share yourself and your story, to whatever degree feels good.

So shine that beautiful light bright my friend.
The world needs you, whether you want them looking or not.