Stephen Kahn
Sep 8, 2018 · 3 min read

As always Allan Ishac, your contributions to Trump abuse send me to bed with pleasant dreams.

Courtesy of Odyssey and really a gerbil

As an old person who once was a high school teacher, I fall back into entertaining true memories.

One day I was teaching a class and in the back row of my classroom I saw a student (named Donald oddly enough) looking at me with a rat poking its head out from buttons in the Donald’s shirt. First rule of surviving being a high school teacher is never display concern or distress by anything students do. I just shrugged and suggested that even though I was an English teacher, I was very spontaneous and students were used to me doing anything that came into my head. I said

You know, Donald, I might suggest that the class take up tap dancing and it would be a shame, if your pet rat panicked and got trampled. Perhaps you might want to keep him INSIDE your shirt until the class is over. And by the way, doesn’t your mom work down at school district headquarters? I think it would be a good idea if I give your mom a call at the end of the school day.

Except for my pretending the student’s name was Donald, ever word of this story is true.

Courtesy Fluid Lens. I truly did this with a similar tarantula and I am still alive.

Another day, I was walking down a school hallway, and a student walked up to me and said

Mr. Kahn, how would you like hold my pet tarantula? I said,

Sure, and held out my hand. He placed the tarantula in my hand and I held it counting to sixty seconds (which I figured was sufficient to maintain my reputation as a cool teacher). I looked at its eight thousand eyes and it looked at me probably terrified that I would eat it, and maybe sting it like on those wasps that plant their eggs in a tarantula.)

Then I said, I think it’s more terrified of me than I am of it and I suggest you put it away before it jumps out of my hand and causes a riot in this school hallway and gets trampled.

You see where I am going with this. The appropriate cell roommates for Donald Trump in jail are rats (trained to bring him food and water every other day) and a different breed of tarantula every day to crawl on his face.

They bite and their hairs in your eyes are irritating but they don’t really kill.

Or so says DESERT USA who provided this picture.

And every day on Donald Trump’s cell no matter where he looks he will see projected

Robert Mueller. Courtesy of the [failing?] New York Times.

A real soldier. A real patriot. A patient jungle tracker

I just discovered something I did not know. The wasp that kills tarantulas has the most excruciatingly painful sting known.

I can’t think of anything more appropriate for Donald Trump.

This takes about 11 minutes until you get to the good part. It’s only #2. No wasps were injured in the making of this video.

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