Cuckoo Lies

Once upon a time, in a place in Africa, some naked apes wandered around, doing what apes do, scratching, eating, fornicating, trying not to get eaten, sometimes caring for each other, sometimes killing each other.

We don’t know the exact moment, or the exact details, but some of these naked apes had an epiphany.

I am old and don’t concentrate very well. We don’t know exactly happened with the naked apes, so I will use my imagination to make up a story.

In a way imagination is what make us what we are. It is also called lying.

We are not the only animals that lie.

Think about a bird sitting on its nest in Africa. My computer is crashing about every 5 minutes, so if I manage to get my lie written I will use an imaginary system from the far future called the Internet to capture a picture of an African bird. That’s amazing.

The bird has a nest. In its nest are two eggs. One of those eggs is bad news. I’ll get to that if my computer does not crash. The bird sees a snake crawling through the grass. The bird flies down and lands near the snake. The snake lifts its head and strikes at the bird. It barely misses. The bird pretends it has a broken wing. It hops away. The snake slithers toward the bird. It strikes again, misses again, just barely.

Eventually, the bird gets so far away from the nest that it can’t see the nest. The snake sees a different nest and decides to find if that nest has an egg to eat. The mama bird flies back to its own nest.

Sweet kind African bulbil bird

This is not a happy story. This bird is now what we call a bulbil, a cute little song bird. Another kind of bird is called in our terms a cuckoo bird. The cuckoo bird laid its egg in the bulbil’s nest. The bulbil tucked both eggs under its wing and kept both eggs warm enough to hatch. When the cuckoo bird hatched out, it broke open the bulbil egg and ate the bulbil embryo.

African cuckoo. It is green and evil.

That is just nature. It’s beautiful. The bulbil bird catches food and feeds the cuckoo baby. If you adopt a baby into your home it may turn out to be a wonderful child even without your genes or it may be an evil human cuckoo who brings a prostitute and fornicates with it when you are not home and sell heroin from your front door.

If I keep my old body alive and my old computer does not fail completely and if I have not put you to sleep and caused you to vow I am never going to read Stephen Kahn’s silly stories, we will tell some more stories about lies and what lies have to do in 2017 where we have a President of the United States of America who never lies.