Small Talk: The Dreaded “How are you?”

I am so happy that I am not the only person of the 7.5 billion on earth who despises this question. As I am 73 years of age, I typically answer

I am the second most boring person on planet earth.

Are you competing for being chosen as number 1?

My wife of 52 years of marriage tells me I lack social graces.

I do wonder why I have no friends. Even though we live millions of miles from each other — perhaps not on the same planet — will you be my friend?

How do I know you are a real person? Seriously, mental illness runs in my family. One of my four siblings is schizophrenic AND bi-polar. How do I know that you are not one of my brother’s hallucinations come to live and taking over my computer screen?

For that matter, one of my sisters took Jesus into her heart at at the age of 12. Jesus calls her via I-phone and asks for advice on how to run the universe.

If you were Jesus, how would you run the universe?