7 Ways to Feel more Connected in Life
Coming down from the holiday high is rough. After all that excitement, time with family and friends, the anticipation of giving and receiving gifts, it’s easy to lose yourself in the feeling that things are dull and meaningless. Human beings like to feel connected, but whether you just got out of school, became too caught up in your home life, transferred states away for work, or just have trouble coming out of your shell, these 7 tips may help you feel less alone, and remind yourself that there’s a big wide world out there.
1. Smile when you make eye contact
Try not to make it creepy, just a small, warm smile that says “I appreciate that you exist and acknowledge you as a fellow human being with your own goals, feelings, and dreams”. It may feel weird at first, but you’ll be surprised how many will smile back, a sign that you both feel a little better about life.
2.Have issues you care about
Whether it’s saving children in Africa or saving the planet, have a social issue you’re passionate about. Read up on it, donate, volunteer. Not only does it give you something to talk about at parties besides the weather, it reminds you that you’re part of a much larger picture, and even in small ways, you can make a difference.
3.Don’t give up on Sci Fi/Fantasy
Pick up a copy of Harry Potter (regardless how many times you’ve read it) pop in Star Wars, tune into some Star Trek reruns; give your imagination something to chew on other than that promotion your boss won’t ever actually give you. Everything is so much more epic in movies, but if you keep an open mind and embrace your childlike imagination, perhaps you can bring that magic perspective to your own life. (Just please leave your lightsaber at home when you go for groceries.)
4.Keep yourself on top of current events
We can’t live in fantasy land all the time. Read up on the plight of other human beings now and then. Listen to NPR or peruse the New York Times. Stay away from sensationalism. If a news source places you in a post-apocalyptic funk or works you up into a bloodthirsty rage, odds are your source is more interested in bringing you drama and feelings than the facts. Avoid your local news station or CNN at all costs.
5.Follow Space, Science, and/or Tech News
Nothing inspires creativity quite like knowledge. Strong sources are also important for this one. If you can avoid the technopanic and constant braying about how scientists are killing us and technology is turning us into vegetables ready for our robot overlords, these areas provide plenty of wonder and surprise about the universe in which we live. Each new discovery, theory, and technical innovation opens up doors to new ideas, thoughts, and tools. They also give us a better perspective of our place in the universe and how we can live better in it.
6.Put yourself in someone else’s shoes
Anger at our fellow humans is common and, large doses, can turn even the most obnoxious Polly-Anna into a cold-hearted misanthrope. Next time you find yourself ready to throttle the person in front of you at the checkout, ask yourself “why is he/she acting like that?” I hate to break it to you, but the answer probably isn’t “because they are a horrible human being, the likes of which should be vanquished from the face of the earth.” Perhaps they are stressed, or sad, or just spent a half hour standing behind an equally unpleasant person at the last store. You’ll never know for sure, but trying to give others the benefit of the doubt will save you wasted energy and help bring back the spring in your step. After all, imagining the offender’s untimely demise won’t make them a more pleasant person. It will just remind you how powerless you are to change the situation on the outside. Instead, change how you react to the situation and you will be much less miserable.
7. Stay in touch with friends and family
Whether it’s divinely ordained, socially conditioned, or a consequence of brain chemistry, there is a bond between family that is hard to replicate. You may say to yourself “Not true! My parents are dead to me!” But really, how often do you tell yourself that about someone, say a stranger, that has no effect in your life? Obviously there are some exceptions, but baring those, it doesn’t hurt to make an effort to smooth over your family ties. Call your mother (and your father!), go to family gatherings, let bygones be bygones.
As for friends, if they live within an hour’s travel from you, there’s no excuse for not seeing them at least twice a month. Even if it’s only for an hour or two, face-to-face time with a good friend will give you something to look forward to, and remind you that there is life beyond that bubble of your home.
Hopefully these items provide some inspiration to get back in the game of life. If you have any other suggestions that help you feel more connected, or would like to add something to one of mine, please respond and add to the discussion.