On Purpose

You came into this life with nothing, and you’ll leave with nothing. What do you do in between?

Was I born with a purpose? (not my favourite idea)

Do I make my purpose as I go along? (more probable I think)

Does my birthdate and name and star sign hold the key? (if you believe this, for $5,000 I will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. A dead person is right now telling me where your great uncle left his fortune. Checkout with PayPal on my products page).

You might have heaps of ideas, or know how to do stuff, but does it really apply to your life purpose? A bit too fluffy for you?

Someone asked me not too long ago: “What is your purpose?”

To which I replied “I want to help people psychologically whom can’t afford it, and support myself to do this by other business & entrepreneurial pursuits which will give me the income to be able to do this”.

“Could you be more specific? Who exactly do you want to help, and how? Do you have a vision of the business that will support you? What does it look like?”

I was stumped.

So I started on a mission to find my purpose. I went to seminars & spoke to people, bounced ideas around & challenged my thoughts. I tried it all. Searched Google, went to the library, spoke to people whom know me about when they see me at my most passionate & motivated, brought books on it, the lot. I was on a mission.

3 days just solely concentrated on getting to my purpose blew out to 3 weeks. I was getting increasingly frustrated as I couldn’t seem to find ‘it’.

I would almost say I was going back into depression.

I kept at it though, and eventually got bored of doing nothing but data mining my brain, asking questions etc.

So I decided to do what any restless entrepreneurial type does: start something.

I proceeded to mind map and work out ways which things I would enjoy could work.

Another mistake: this passion seeking had made me soft in that I was trying to plan too much instead of just going for the jugular.

After a few days I caved in and started emailing some of my favourite authors and networking to start up a podcast inspired by John Lee Dumas. He interviews entrepreneurs and releases the podcasts daily. I want to interview people whom have overcome major obstacles to success in both monetary and non-monetary ways. The Dalai Lama would be a good non-monetary example. Martin Luther King if he were still alive. Nelson Mandela type people in both the business and philanthropic/humanitarian nature. Ideally Bill Gates & Warren Buffet, whom are doing both, though I can’t think off hand of any major obstacles they’ve overcome but I’m sure they would have had their share. “Erase All Fears” is the name for this project.

So, a couple of my absolute favourite authors, Bob Burg & John David Mann of The Go-Giver were first on my list of emails to send… And they want to be in! Not only that, they introduced me to heaps of other people whom fit the profile. Amazing.

Then, I was listening to some Napoleon Hill audios. These are not new to me, I have been listening to them for years, trying to find my way. He was talking of definiteness of purpose and how things happen for the man who knows where he is going. Everything was starting to form for this new podcast as everything is falling into place.

Granted, a lot of it comes from the leverage I have gained from The Psychology Webinar Group but without that work previously it might’ve been a lot harder.

I can’t completely say that the work I did on finding my purpose was wasted, as I did eliminate crap that I didn’t want to do, and helped me get clearer around what I really did want. Be warned though, for me it didn’t come quickly and concisely. It was more of a gradual realisation.

Other highly successful & mature people whom I had spoken to in this period (when I told them that I was trying to find my purpose) said “I’m 50 odd yrs old and successful at my work but I still don’t know my purpose!”

I think it was here that I decided to just make something up that sounded like fun, and go for it. I can change it as I go, right?

Absolutely!

Quite often we change our meaning and reason for life. It could be caused by any type of life event, usually the more negative ones are a more common catalyst.

The beauty is that we don’t necessarily need a negative influence to jolt us, as we have the power of choice.

So, I decided to go head first into the Erase All Fears project, in amongst my studies and PsychWebinars. I would outsource the stuff that is time consuming and replicable, and just do the interviews, networking and webinars. So much of my time has been taken up by doing the background stuff that all startups do. Starting something potentially life changing for people is what gets my cylinders going, There are only so many hours in the day and I only want to do what I enjoy. Being experienced and immensely enjoying online marketing, I’m selling my expertise as services, I then outsource the mechanics to a very experienced team. This allows me to focus on the core of getting better results and nothing else.

Will things change? Maybe, but who cares? I’ll just adjust, find something else to focus on, and go for it.

For a mild bit of entertainment, below is a write up I was doing on finding my purpose while I was in the middle of it.

In some ways, it did help to go through the exercises. Don’t expect an angel to come down from heaven and hand it to you though.

How to find your life purpose.

One technique highlighted by Steve Pavlina:

1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
2. Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.

He does write a follow up to this article, as he realised that it may be hard to find for various reasons.

I have been trying this method, also something I heard from Benjamin J. Harvey which he calls the “Trump Game” (trumping the previous purpose by asking yourself “what would I love to do even more than this” till you’re done).

It helps to have in mind the top 5 regrets of the dying by Bronnie Ware:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I wish I didn’t work so hard.

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.” Bronnie Ware

Something else I have done (cheesy I know, but good) is that I’ve turned around the regrets into positives and blu-tacked them on my wall.

I’m grateful that I have the courage to live my life true to myself, regardless of others.

I’m grateful that the lines between work and play are blurred.

I have the courage to express my feelings respectfully

I’m grateful to have friends of whom I stay in contact regularly

My happiness is my choice and I’m letting myself by happy no matter what comes.

Tina Su writes “15 questions to discover your personal mission”, which are some good questions to probe you, however I would spend more time on her “what are your deepest values?”, which lists a heap of fluffy words to choose from which I think will probably get you no further. The best “personal value finder” tool I’ve found so far is Benjamin J. Harvey’s “Shadow Values”. I did my values based on the Shadow Values audio.

From Oprah’s website (paraphrased, click the link for the full version):

“The one big question most of us ask ourselves is “What should I do with my life?” For most people, it’s very difficult to answer. Use these simple suggestions from people who have successfully answered this question and are now living the lives of their dreams.

1. Listen to your inner voice
2. Recognize crisis
3. Dwell in possibilities
4. Tune out the voice of the world
5. Decide what kind of person you want to be
6. Bring your heart to your work
7. Trust transformation
8. Have no regrets
9. Take the first step
10. Be patient

From Dr. Wayne Dyer:

“…In response to the question What should I do with my life?, I suggest that there’s only one thing you can do with it, since you came into this life with nothing and you’ll leave with nothing: You can give it away. You’ll feel most on purpose when you’re giving your life away by serving others. When you’re giving to others, to your planet, and to your Source, you’re being purposeful. Whatever it is that you choose to do, if you’re motivated to be of service to others while being authentically detached from the outcome, you’ll feel on purpose, regardless of how much abundance flows back to you…

When I extend assistance to someone in need, when I take a moment to cheer up a disgruntled employee in a restaurant or store, when I make a child laugh who sits otherwise ignored in a stroller, or even when I pick up a piece of litter and place it in a trash can, I feel that I’m giving myself away and, as such, feel purposeful. Stay focused on giving and your purpose will find you.”

See the original article here.

Wow. There is so much to take in, isn’t there?

There’s gotta be a less overwhelming way..

It’s been a couple of weeks. I have been wandering around kind of a bit aimlessly in life, except for doing what I ‘fell into’ for want of a better expression. I’d get bored at jobs, or for whatever reason get fired. Some jobs I did because of talent I had in an area, mostly I learnt those talents because I had learned there was money in them, so when asked the question “what job would I do if I had all the money in the world, if money wasn’t an issue?”, I’d be completely stumped.

I bought a book “The question book”. Make no mistake, it’s not the “all-ecompassing awakening” you hear about, but helped me get closer in provoking what may be my purpose. Here are some questions from the book:

• What do you do for a living?
• How would you explain to a child what you do for a living?
• What do you define as work?
• Why do you get up in the morning? Fundamentally speaking, what do you really work for?
• What did you want to be when you’re younger?
• Why have you (not) become this?
• What did your parents want you to be?
• Why did you (not) become this?
• What other career would suit you?
• Besides your actual career, do you have other talents with which you could earn money?
• What would be your ideal job if you didn’t have to worry about money?
• Do you have a career role model?
• What aspects of your job are you most confident about?
• Which company would you most like to work for?
• Which company would you never work for and why?

As far as what my personal purpose is, I might hold onto it till I’ve achieved it, but it won’t be any big surprise to anyone.

“Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.” Bronnie Ware