The concept of self love is irresistible

But the road to get there is long

Often times it is unpaved

Often neverending

I can be brave

But inevitably, I am afraid

What do you do,

When all your plans fall through?

When reality threatens to bulldoze a forest of your dreams

Making a parking lot out of your sanity

What do you do, when you’re a trailblazer and a tumbleweed?

As soon as I heal, as soon as I feel happy

Life becomes a piece of hell

My personal demons crawl out to play

The past comes back to haunt me

I don’t want to participate

But revolution calls

Sacrifices need to be made

I am alive, but I am stumbling

I’ve waited for freedom

So why would I deny it?

It comes with consequences

In fact, there are pros and cons

To everyone and to everything

I feel like I am jaywalking through life

The past is haunting

But history can be relevant

The present is a blur

I’m falling, holding on, and letting go all at the same time

It can be hard to distinguish between those states

The future is overwhelming

Endless possibilities

So what’s the truth?

Will I ever be enough?

Will I ever escape my rose colored ideations?

I show love by making myself available until I am drained

Those who pull from me prefer the opposite

Some refuse to see the worth in me

So I say I move on

I say they do not know what they’re missing

But how many times will I let a man make my inner light fade

My heart is tired

Whether or not that was their intention

It scarred me

I should really stop chasing this wind of emotions

Unless something is completely good for me

I should really stop giving my all to those who would only give me half of who they are

At least I always try my best

At least I keep marching, moving forward

Climbing mountains of doubt, I never stop climbing

Never stop growing

Insecure whispers hit me

Creating valleys in my soul

Debating on whether or not I am the one who commands dry bones to live or if I am the dry bone itself

I sit and wait

I fight and I rest

I lay and I cry awaiting the moments where time is finally working for my good

Life is filled with uncertainty but the uncertainty makes me certain that life is worth living

Worth dreaming

Worth feeling

Worth loving