“And on I read until the day was gone / And I sat in regret of all the things I’ve done / For all that I’ve blessed and all that I’ve wronged / In dreams until my death I will wander on.” — Chris Cornell

I suppose I read myself sober.

My first couple months sober I devoured books every night, especially memoirs. It started six days into my sobriety. I was taking a piss and realized, depressingly, that I was still dehydrated and unhealthy from my last binge. While I was feeling the familiar shame of self-damage, I just…

Sometimes I think if Joe Bolton had owned a dog, maybe he would have been ok in the end.

My dog Mookie is turning ten. It seemed fitting to post this with many of the Pearl Jam allusions syncing up nicely. Although in light of recent events we’ve taken to using the surname Betts instead of Blaylock.

I often (probably too often) joke with my wife that Mookie is my most successful long-term relationship. But he is! Ten years ago I went puppy shopping with the ex-fiance. We started at the Monadnock Humane Society visiting ten *mostly* German Shepherd puppies…

“And I laugh at myself while the tears roll down, because it’s the world I know.”

I’m not quite sure how to say goodbye to something that has defined me for more than 25 years. Especially since it’s a physical act that I can no longer do. At least not in any way that I would find satisfying.

First, the necessary caveat. This letter (if you will) is purely an exercise in self-indulgence, and the topic is certainly a “first world problem.” I feel guilty just typing this, knowing I should instead be writing another letter about the inhumanity of…

Stephen T. Chabot

Dad of 3, school principal, fledgling author, grateful teetotaler, former athlete, proud snowflake. First book “Pine Away” comes out...sometime...maybe 2022?

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