So this may be a weird perspective, but it seems like in some ways the best time to disclose would be after having sex, assuming all attributes match the partners assumptions. I’m a cis-man and to my knowledge have not dated a transwoman, but In my day I dated a lot of different women and frequently found out things after the fact about them (including my wife) that required me to confront my biases. I am convinced that my wife and I of 30+ years wouldn’t have made it past a few dates if I’d known too early things I learned later. The experience of being in love and building a bond helped me stay with her when my biases would otherwise have driven me away.
I get the argument of full disclosure, but people keep all kinds of secrets and I think people who want preset disclosure are advertising their bias and don’t really want to confront it.
