TWITPOL’S First Ever Musical Production!

The Donald (to the tune of Kenny Rogers’s “The Gambler.”)

Lyrics by yours truly.

On a September morning
On a campaign bound for nowhere
He met his insecurity
They were both too tired to sleep
He was tossing and turning
In his bedroom in the darkness
The boredom overtook him,
So he began to tweet
He said I’ve made a life
Out of insultin’ people’s faces
judging how fat they were
By the way they held their thighs
And if you don’t mind me sayin’
I can see you’re disgusting
and although its really risky
I’ll give you some advice
So he picked up his iPhone
And rather than wallow 
he used 140 characters
to pick himself a fight
And the night got deathly quiet
And his face lost all expression
He said, “If you’re gonna sabotage your campaign
You gotta learn to do it right”
You’ve got to know when to troll ‘em
Know when to scold ‘em
Know when to talk away
And know when to run
You never account for your money
When you’re sittin’ under audit
There’ll be time enough for accountin’
When the campaign’s won

Every racist knows
That the secret to survivin’
Is knowin’ who to throw away
And knowin’ who to keep
’Cause every man’s a winner
And every girl’s a loser
And the best that you can hope for is to fool
lots of sheep
And when he finished tweeting
He turned back toward his polling
Crushed out his campaign dreams
with a bunch of tweets
And somewhere in his darkness
The Donald thinks he broke even
But in his final words
we found his racism, sexism misogynism were too deep
You’ve got to know when to troll ‘em
Know when to scold ‘em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never use your own money
When you do charitable giving 
if reporters ask for accounting
tell them that they’re dumb
You’ve got to know when to troll ’em 
Know when to scold ’em 
Know when to talk away
And know when to run

You never account for your money
When you’re sittin’ under audit
There’ll be time enough for accountin’
When the campaign’s done
There’ll be time enough for accountin’
When Donald’s done

Make America great again.

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