Wrestling Cook Wednesday: Looking Back At Wrestling’s American Patriots (circa 2005)
Celebrate Independence Day in style with a Steve Cook classic, wrestling patriots from 2005!
When you’ve been writing about wrestling for as many years as I have, you risk repeating yourself. Why produce content similar to something you’ve already done if it stands the test of time? Especially when you’re on holiday and really don’t feel like doing anything creative anyway. With this in mind, this week’s edition of Wrestling Cook Wednesday comes to you straight from the July 3, 2005 edition of News From Cook’s Corner via 411Mania. Unedited too, which is why Mike Rotunda’s name is horribly misspelled. I always had a problem with that name, which is why it’s great that Bo Dallas & Bray Wyatt had other ideas for their wrestling personas.
Tomorrow is Independence Day here in the good ol’ USA, and this got me to start thinking about great patriotic wrestlers. You’ll see lots of wrestlers wave the flag occasionally to get some cheap heat, but some have made a career out of it. There are many who have made a living off of patriotism in America, but these 10 wrestlers (with a couple of tag teams thrown in) stood out from the rest.
10. The Rougeau Brothers
The All American Boys got over as a heel tag team in the late 1980s by waving small American flags and claiming they were patriots. Of course, they were from the great state of Quebec. Which wasn’t part of the U.S., but should be in about a hundred years or so. I kid the Quebecers. Although I don’t think most Canadians would mind if we took over that province.
9. Major Gunns
What represents America better than a blonde with big fake boobies wearing very little clothing? Gunns might have been a lot higher on this list if she hadn’t only been in the business for about a year or so. And XPW doesn’t count.
8. Lex Luger
We go from a blonde with big fake boobies to a blonde who was a big boob. Luger did the patriotism thing for a couple years in the WWF, and was pretty over for most of that time period. Like his career though, his run as “Made in the U.S.A.” didn’t live up to full potential.
7. The U.S. Express
Mike Routundo and Barry Windham had a successful run in the WWF in 1984–85 under this gimmick, losing the Tag Team titles at WrestleMania I to the evil Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff. The song “Real American” was actually slated to be their entrance music, but somebody else got his hands on it instead.
6. American Love Machine
The late Art Barr had an extremely successful run in AAA as the despised American Love Machine, who wore the stars and stripes and mocked the Mexican fans at every opportunity, often moving his arms like he was swimming across a river to signify the only way Mexicans could get into America. While his faction Los Gringos Locos portrayed stereotypical “ugly Americans” and wasn’t a shining example of positive American patriotism, it was very entertaining and the Mexican fans loved to see him get his comeuppance at the hands of their favorite luchadors.
5. The Patriot
Del Wilkes was a very solid wrestler who made a name for himself under the Patriot mask in GWF and in WCW, teaming with Marcus Bagwell as “Stars & Stripes”. The highlight of his career was when he got a chance to shine in the WWF in 1997 against Bret Hart and his Hart Foundation as part of the US vs. Canada feud WWF was pushing at the time. Unfortunately Patriot had to retire soon after that feud had ended due to injury, but he was the right man in the right place at the right time during the summer of 1997.
4. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
It wouldn’t be a complete list without the man from Glens Falls, New York, who always carried his 2 X 4 and often took the American flag with him to the ring. Duggan was a very underrated worker in his prime, and always got some good USA chants going during his matches, no matter where his opponent happened to be from. USA!
3. Kurt Angle
Angle has spent most of his career as a heel, but he’s always worn the red, white and blue with pride. A gold medal winner in freestyle wrestling at the 1996 Olympics, Angle is proud of his accomplishments for his country, and won’t let you forget it.
2. Sgt. Slaughter
It was a real tossup between #1 and #2 here. Sarge is a legendary figure in this sport that thrived on patriotism. Hell, he was on G.I. Joe! Sarge was definitely an American icon, but when he turned his back on us during the Gulf War, he lost his top spot on this poll. Of course, he did win the WWF title during the Gulf War, and became one of the most despised heels in history, so I think Sarge will be just fine with that. And he eventually learned his mistake and got his country back.
- Hulk Hogan
The only man who could have defended us against an evil Sgt. Slaughter was the Real American himself, Hulk Hogan. Ironically enough, a lot of the complaints leveled against Hogan by the IWC could be considered similar to the complaints the rest of the world has about America. Hogan was not just about patriotism, but his loyalty to America became a large part of his character and made the fans love him even more.
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So…do I stand behind this list twelve years later? Is Hulk Hogan still the most patriotic wrestler of all time? Let’s see what he’s done since July 3, 2005…
- Squeezed more money out of WWE for some “matches”
- Had his own reality show
- Squeezed more money out of TNA for some “matches” and “creativity”
- Got caught on a sex tape using vulgar language
- Was funded by a billionaire to sue the website that posted the sex tape & won tons of money in the process
I’d say Hulk’s only become a bigger symbol of what America is and gained even more ground on the likes of Slaughter & Angle.
Has anybody come along in the last twelve years that belongs on this list? I can think of a couple that you can make a good argument for…
John Cena: Not only was Cena’s first spinner belt the US title, but he’s also been in a movie playing a Marine and he told the WWE Universe that Osama bin Laden had been murdered. When kids born after this column was originally written think of patriotic wrestlers, they probably think of John Cena.
Jack Swagger: The All-American American was all about ‘Merica during his WWE run. He was a Real American, along with Zeb Colter & Antonio Cesaro. It never really connected with the crowd though, certainly not at the level of Duggan, Slaughter & other WWE U.S. American acts.
And that’s the list, pretty much. Most of the rest of the “patriotic wrestlers” that have popped up over the last twelve years have been wannabe Love Machines in Mexico & lame attempts at cheap heat based on politics. Whether they support the right or the left, they don’t belong in a conversation about patriots. America should be represented by somebody that tries to do what’s right for everybody, not just their friends.