Pick yourself, paint a rock, throw it into the ocean.
Due to low enrollment and budget, your position has been eliminated. You have the option to apply for a new job within the organization.
I was mad; it wasn’t fair, I expressed my displeasure in a formal letter.
I didn’t apply for the new position.
I was at a fork in the road. I made lists with pros and cons. I got advice. I decided to be quiet. To be still. To wait.
I had a choice. I could remain a renter in my career or the owner of my career.
I picked myself.
It was March when I found out I was leaving; I decided to give 110% percent for the next several months until June. I didn’t get bitter; I didn’t fight, I took the high road.
It was hard. It hurt. I had given 100 percent. People told me it was a blessing in disguise.
It still was painful. It still is.
When I dropped off a box at FedEx with the company computer, a phone I took a selfie and sent a text to some friends, at that point I was free. I no longer a renter of my career I was now the owner.
For the next two months, I worked 8–10 hours a day building my new businesses.
I planned. I prepared. I was practical. I was anxious. I didn’t feel free.
I was scared. I still am.
I wasn’t scared of the job.
I am not scared of the work.
I am not scared of the sacrifice.
I have anxiety over money.
Each week I make a budget.
I worry that it will run out. Is my labor futile?
My labor isn’t futile. My energy and my willingness to work hard and sacrifice are strengths.
My story is futile. So that is what I will change.
I woke up today, cooked my son breakfast and dropped him at school.
I went to the ocean and sat on a bench. I looked at the water and felt the cool breeze. I opened my notebook and did another budget, and then I began to work on my proposals for my new clients. Clients that I got on my own.
I can do this. I got clients on my own.
Clients I will get again. Money is a story. The work matters. I still feel anxious; I still think anxious thoughts. I let them pass over me, and through me. I meditate, I pray, I am on the right path. I am an owner.
