Abuse of the family court systems

Steven Monk-Dalton
Aug 23, 2019 · 9 min read

“This article was written as an ironic view of how the current family court system can be used to facilitate the abduction and retention of children across international borders. Some of the points mentioned also relate to issues in the domestic family court system.

My reasoning is to highlight the tactics often used in cross border / domestic proceedings in the hope that the various authorities (and/or media) will provide an investigation into these issues which I would like to prompt greater deterrent and accountability.”

Abducting / Kidnapping Your Child

When making a decision to take your child, it is important to remember that the removal of a child across international borders is a criminal offense for all countries who are signatories to the Hague Convention. However, if you have already done this, all is not lost as with knowledgeable legal representation, who have zero moral integrity, there are ways and means of achieving your objective without any repercussion whatsoever.

If you have already abducted your child without a plan, you may have to agree to return your child first but make sure that you try to arrange this through a mediation service with a memorandum of understanding and VERY importantly, in this document, agree to the return only if the other parent agrees not to seek any criminal charges for the initial abduction. They are not really bothered about pressing any charges as the other parent only wants the return of their child home and is only concerned about the welfare of the child.

Justifying Your Actions

There are many tools at your disposal to justify taking your children away from the other parent and their family as the family courts work on the “basis of probability” rather than on proof so the objective here is to portray the other parent as a risk to you and your children.

Do not worry if they are no risk whatsoever and never have been as the family court does not know the other parent and will very rarely investigate fully any allegations that you make against them.

In many cases, we have found that it is more effective to make progressive allegations and use those as the next cog in the chain. In some countries, laws are even in place to help us do this such as the Violence against women act in Spain.

False Allegations in Spain

Domestic Violence allegations in some countries will mean that the other parent is immediately arrested and restraining orders placed upon them to keep them away from you and your child. This is the ideal opportunity to flee with your child as it is sanctioned by the authorities so renders any attempt at using the Hague Convention as the means of return useless.

The additional benefit of making domestic violence allegations is that this may allow you to claim legal aid in the country that you take the child to. This may save you lots of money for the inevitable family court proceedings that will take place. You may also wish to express financial hardship in this application.

The other parent will not be able to claim any financial assistance as they cannot use Hague mechanisms. This gives us an ideal tool to financially destroy them if they wish to try to see your child.

Resist Contact

Once you have managed to take your child across international borders, the next step is to frustrate any contact between your child and the other parent and their family. There are a number of “independent” social workers that might help with this. Your solicitor may have more details of who to use as they may have colluded together in previous cases.

The idea behind this is to not only portray the other parent as a risk to you but also portray them as a risk to your child. Sexual abuse claims are the most effective means of doing this but you may need the help of your own family to do this.

One way of doing this is to threaten them that they will not see your child if they do not support you. This is also highly abusive but it is all part of the master plan. Grandparents are the most effective weapon here as they will always want to support their own child so work on them as much as possible.

By this point, you could be in a very strong position because not only could you have interim orders to take your child with domestic violence allegations in the country of habitual residence, you also may have a report from the manipulated “independent social worker” to support you in your objective not to allow any contact at all until matters reach the family courts. Even if they have court orders in place for interim contact from the country you took your child from, this means absolutely nothing as they hold no jurisdiction.

As well as this, you may have support from your own mother and father for your deceptions as they will not want to get you into any trouble with the authorities.

Teach Your Child New Tricks

This is probably the most abusive part of your plan but if you wish to erase the other parent and their family from your child’s life, then it is the ultimate weapon.

The idea here is to try to teach your child that the other parent is a bad person and they should be afraid of them. Repeat your teachings over and over again in the hope that your child will repeat what you are teaching them to somebody else as that would be the final nail in the coffin.

Many people refer to this as “parental alienation” and you may see many articles and research on this issue to show how emotionally damaging this can be to your child as well as the other parent and their family.

This isn’t a great concern though as it is often seen by family courts and child care organisations such as CAFCASS and Social Services as a “buzz word” rather than the abuse that it is.

Be careful with what you teach the children in your alienation plan though as there are medical methods to prove things like penetrative sexual allegations as being false, for example.

Just in case though, refuse any medical examinations requested and use the excuse of your concern for how intrusive this would be for your child. As with all stages in this war against the other parent, you must play the victim as much as possible as this will help every step of the way.

Probably the best way is to just teach something along the lines of “the other parent touched” as this can never be proven and the family courts only need “basis of probability”. With the other allegations that you have already made, this will be all adding up in your favour.

Police and Social Services

Now that you have your plan in action, it is time to make use of these services. Once any allegations of abuse are made, they have an obligation to investigate and this will take the time you need to prepare your ammunition for the family courts.

Without doubt, the other parent is going to try to defend themselves from any allegations that you make and try to reunite with their child. They might try to provide evidence and witnesses to expose your behaviour and deception but don’t worry too much about this as the authorities main concern is the allegations that you (and possibly now your child and parents) have made. You can make further allegations of harassment in this case and don’t forget to add that the other parent is obsessive as this will all help you in the family courts.

If a police investigation ends up to be closed with no further action, don’t worry too much as the threshold for proof to instigate an arrest is high. The fact that the allegations have been made is enough to be used in the family courts in your favour. Remember, keep playing the victim and keep making spurious allegations as much as possible as these can be added to any chronology that you write for the courts.

Social services can be very helpful here also as long as you stick to your story. All they want to see is that your child not being physically abused by you. Emotional abuse leaves no visible scars as it is much more difficult for them to do anything about it even if you have not totally convinced them of your claims about the other parent.

The Family Court

The family courts can be a stressful place for you. Not only will you have to go under cross examination for the lies and deception you have already made to the authorities and the courts, but you may also have to face the person who you have made so many false allegations about.

If you plea to the courts how stressful proceedings are for you and also your fear of facing the other parent, they may allow you to give your statements in a comfortable room via camera. This would also work in your favour as being the victim in these proceedings.

A fact finding hearing will allow you to continue with the allegations and you could add some more for good measure. Remember, it is important to portray the other parent as a risk to you and your child so brush up on your acting skills.

If there are points in your chronology and position statements etc that can be proven to be lies, don’t worry too much as sometimes, with a judge that can be swayed, they will give you ample opportunity to change your story. You “have ownership” of your child at the moment so the courts will do what they can not to change the status quo.

If all goes to plan, you will leave the court with the results that you want. Probably no contact until your child is 18 years of age is a good objective.

The family courts can also be very helpful here in hiding your lies and deception. The children’s act is a good method to achieve this as you can apply for a publicity order to stop the other parent from discussing the case or even mentioning their name or post any photographs in the public arena.

The other parent may appeal these orders but they have no power to challenge the “basis of probability” findings. They can only appeal on points of law so only you have the orders you have requested, you have pretty much won the fight.

Breaches to Orders

By now, you will be aware that you can manipulate the system to achieve the results that you wish to achieve. This can be complete “parentectomy” and total protection for you just in case the other parent decides never to give up on their child.

You have the orders, you have the control so if you see any of these orders being breached, you can go straight to the authorities and they have no option but to try to enforce the judgements that have been made. This might not always go your way as, even with the orders; the authorities don’t have all the power to stop the other parent from speaking up.

It will, however, act as a deterrent as the other parent does not wish to be arrested; nor will they want to do anything that might be used against them in any future applications that they make to the court. They simply want to be part of their children’s lives but through some of the methods mentioned above, you have managed to stop that for now so congratulations.

The Future

One thing you should be aware of is that at some point, your children will start to ask questions and possibly realise how you have lied and deceived them too….

There will come a point where you cannot control them anymore and this might result in YOU losing them in their adult lives.

This doesn’t seem to matter to you too much right now as you have won your war against the other parent and family by preventing your child from having a loving and healthy relationship with the person you seem to hate more than you love your child”… But you have to realise that this is not only emotional abuse of your childs other side of the family; it is emotional abuse of the child you claim to love!!

There is still opportunity to change this..

Now is the time to put your children first…

  • Stop parental child abduction
  • Stop parental alienation
  • Stop hostile “parenting”

Steven Monk-Dalton


0034 622925754

Steven Monk-Dalton

Written by

Raising awareness of parental child abduction and parental alienation

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