12 PUNS CARRIE MIGHT MAKE ABOUT MIRANDA’S POLITICAL AMBITIONS

1.

CARRIE V.O.: I couldn’t help but wonder… was Miranda hoping to topple the Cuomo dynasty, or was she just hoping to topple any chance Steve would cheat on her again?

2.

CARRIE V.O.: Miranda had big plans for the state of New York — but with the state of my marriage, I couldn’t even get Big to make plans.

3.

CARRIE V.O.: It turns out, Albany was a lot like Brooklyn — I only went there to see Miranda.

4.

CARRIE V.O.: At a press conference downtown, Miranda was hoping for a boost in the polls. Meanwhile, Samantha was uptown — going down on a pole.

5.

CARRIE V.O.: Later that morning I got to thinking — relationships were a lot like campaigns. We lose, we win, we lose again. And somehow, we still keep running. But when it comes to election day, there’s only one vote that really matters — and it’s a Big one.

6.

[At the end of an episode about Magda thinking it’s unseemly for a woman to run for Governor, fearing it will emasculate Steve. Magda finally shows up to Miranda’s brownstone, wearing a “Miranda for NY” pin].

CARRIE V.O.: And just like that, Miranda became a strong proponent of the nanny state.

7.

[At brunch]

CARRIE: Apparently, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand only wants women “off the sidelines” as long as they fall in line.

SAMANTHA: Well, lucky for you, fall is a long way away.

MIRANDA: That leaves us with plenty of time to rally the troops.

CHARLOTTE: But Senator Gillibrand is in my book club! What am I going to say to her?

SAMANTHA: I think it’s time you closed that chapter.

[All four burst out laughing.]

8.

CARRIE: Honey, I love you, but if you want to be Governor, you’re gonna need to be a little less Murphy Brown, and a little more married bride. Where’s your ring?

MIRANDA: Steve and I are having problems.

CARRIE: Honey, Melania has problems. You’re just having a bad day.

9.

CHARLOTTE: Do you think Miranda will like the place settings I picked out for her fundraiser?

CARRIE: They’re a little more Lily Pulitzer than Lilly Ledbetter.

CHARLOTTE: What’s wrong with having nice things?

CARRIE: She’s a socialist now, Charlotte.

SAMANTHA: Yeah honey, this is rules for radicals, not the Ralph Lauren handbook.

CARRIE: Since when are you a Marxist?

SAMANTHA: I fucked Saul Alinsky in ’79. And I’ll say this — he definitely went to the left.

10.

CARRIE V.O.: As Miranda flubbed another major speech, I couldn’t help but wonder — was the status Cuo-mo really all that bad?

11.

CARRIE V.O.: Later that night I got to thinking — if Miranda could run for Governor, why couldn’t I rim Big?

12.

CARRIE V.O.: While Miranda was busy grabbing power, Samantha was grabbing, well, power.

[CUT TO: Samantha at ConEd HQ, flipping the switch to shut down the entire tri-state electric grid].