| i am not cool |

I live in New York City. It’s still really weird typing that out because I still feel like I’m on vacation…a terribly stressful vacation which also feels vaguely like a bad game of Life…

But I digress.

I live in New York City. One of the most fashionable, exciting places in the world. The buildings are awesome, the subways is…the buildings are awesome. And the people! The people are so beautiful and cool. They walk around in their clothes and their shoes and doing their business. They just look so. damn. cool.

Usually in this situation, one who has just moved to the area like myself, would try to blend into the environment. Shudder the thought of being labelled as a newbie or, even worse, a tourist. No. I’ll use some of the same phrasings, talk about the weather, complain about the trains, scowl every time I have to go to the Upper East Side, and walk like I’ve got a billion dollars in my account…

Okay, storytime…

I left my apartment one day in my well-put-together outfit, put on my sunglasses, did a little “leaving the apartment” video on Instagram.

I was feeling good.

Everything was going so well.

I hopped on the train and caught people looking up from their phones and look my way. What?! I just felt so cool. New Yorkers were looking at me and they didn’t look angry!

I got off at my stop, strode down the platform in my boots and my bag, approached the stairs, took a couple steps and…I freaking fell.

Granted, my recovery was almost instantaneous and impeccable. My escape was even more swift. I even looked back at the step like it had wronged me.

But I knew. It was just me. I’m just a clumsy guy who doesn’t know how to walk in boots he hasn’t worn in ages.

As I continued through 14th st station, I couldn’t help but laugh at myself. I was so focused on looking cool and trying to get people to notice me that I didn’t have enough mental capacity to watch where I was walking. How ridiculous.

So, #adulting lesson number 1: don’t try to be cool.

I mean, you can try but most likely you’ll end up stumbling while walking up a flight of stairs and scraping your elbow.

I’m not cool. You’re not cool. Just don’t.

If you want to be cool, be cool on instagram!

We all can be cool in carefully edited small moments and on curated virtual platforms.

If you’ve had one of these tragically human moments, click to like and share!

More to come!

Steven Sharpe Jr is a personal stylist & social media manager in New York City.