Is your spouse cheating on you, probably.

I had always wondered how these scandalous women could go through so many men day in and day out not caring if they were ruining marriages or tearing families apart, until i became that scandalous woman. It’s the most sensational, orgasmic (literally) experience I could ever describe. There’s something about having someone else’s man in your arms that just hits the spot. I remember watching Oprah do an interview once with this sobbing woman who said she never thought her husband would cheat on her, she never once had an inkling that he was pounding their maid, until she caught them in the act one day. “Stupid bitch,” I remember mumbling, I was too good to get caught. I was screwing the butcher then waving to his wife while I was in line at the store, I was also doing the mailman, my pharmacist, my dentist, the bar owner a few blocks down and the landscaping guy whose bisexual and likes to have threesomes with his co worker as well. It’s a dirty business and I love my job. I decided to write a little ode to myself keeping track of some of my business encounters to read back on one day or just for blackmail if I need it. I suppose Ill start with how I even got into the gig.

I was your typical secretary at a law firm in Pasadena. I never looked twice at Tony because he was married, had been for a long time, he had three kids I often had to pick up from school and take back to the office. Tony’s wife deb was beautiful, someone you’d never think he’d cheat on in a million years , but he did and it was with me.

I went into his office one afternoon to drop off some files I told him I was leaving to go pick up his kids when he locked his door and said, “Deb is getting the kids today, so just take you your pants off and sit on my desk,”

I didn’t hesitate, his tongue rolled over my breasts, he bent me over his desk and spanked me until I winced in pain, it was 20 minutes of pure bliss.The affair lasted 7 months, I would come into his office before 4 everyday we had half an hour to screw before Sara the intern buzzed deb and his kids into the office, it became something to look forward to. I was living for Tony’s cock lusting for it. We cut it too close one day Tony’s meeting ran late, he was practically running down the hall. At 345 he pulled me into his office, I was trying to kiss him and hold him like we usually did but he pushed my face away and pulled my ass close to him, it was the most disgusting thing I had ever done. Sara buzzed deb in he told me to pull up my fucking skirt and leave, I walked out of his office with tears in my eyes and I was looking at deb as she was walking in. It was in that moment I realized that over the course of 7 months I had fallen in love with this fictional character who was really just an asshole.. You probably saw that coming though. However, On the brink of a suicidal breakdown I had established a business. I threatened Tony and like a good little boy my pay checks grew every week until he told me I was capped he couldn’t give me anything else, so I exposed the fucker. Long story short Deb and Tony are no longer together and I am flourishing. That was the start of it all. I know you’re thinking whore, slut, the usual. I have to say my bank account calls me otherwise and frankly at the end of the day there’s nothing better than having a dick on the end of the phone line and money to blow. Next was the pharmacist but we’ll get into that later I have one of my clients tied to my bed post, and his wife will be home any minute now.