We’re all the same, but people focus on this difference the most — Some people have light skin, other people have dark skin. For some reason a lot of the lighter skinned people make a huge fuss over this. Biological racism or scientific racism is a belief that tries to use observable evidence to prove that white people are somehow better than everyone…

A letter to the casting director — Dear Disney Channel Producers, Hello, and thank you for considering me for your new children’s sitcom. I believe that this letter as well as my audition tape will prove that I’m the perfect choice for the role of “main character’s 16 year old best friend.” I am 25 years of…

With Art From A Non-Artist Made In Microsoft Paint Haiku

What is lactose intolerance anyway? And why do I keep drinking milkshakes? — Milkshakes are objectively delicious. And so simple too; milk, ice cream, severe abdominal pain, bloating, the grumpy dumpies. Those last three ingredients aren’t actually part of the milkshake, but if you have lactose intolerance you can’t have a milkshake without a bit of suffering involved. While I sat in the…

Not recommended for use in a fruit salad — Black pepper. The mightiest of spices. Undisputed champion of the spice trade for centuries. Tried and true method of school nurses trying to get a kid to sneeze out a bead that got stuck in their nose during arts and crafts. …

Poor taste can’t be forgiven by slightly better presentation — Disclaimer: This was written in good fun, and isn’t meant to legitimately criticize anyone’s personal tastes. Food is an artform, and while you will be judged harshly by this author if you don’t season your food, it’s ultimately your decision how you prepare food. I’m angry with several internet videos…

The plot of Armageddon was kind of criminal — Out of the billions of people to have walked this planet, not even 600 of them have been to space. But that hasn’t stopped the world from governing it already. Technically speaking, space law in its most basic sense started way back in 1919 when countries decided that the air…

Please don’t screw your pooch — Idioms in the English language tend to sound weird when you think about them literally. The idea of cats and dogs falling from the sky is absolutely terrifying, and not many people actually rub me at all, let alone the wrong way. However disturbing these idioms might be when used…

We’ve all seen it. You get a hankering to make some homemade queso, or bake a cake from scratch and so you search online for a recipe. You find something with a pretty picture, click the link, and bam. Paragraph after paragraph having nothing to do with food. Sometimes it…