4. Chris

She think’s my tractor’s sexy — until she actually has to live here

Chris stormed onto the scene with his farmer’s tan and good boy charm, and he’s been one of the more steady bachelors this season. He’s kept out of the household drama for the most part and had a very nice one-on-one date with Andi re-enacting the scene from Ghost (Somewhere, Whoppi Goldberg is demanding a royalty check). He also had a little secret admirer note streak going until Andi found out through discovery (because she’s a lawyer).

While Andi may think that the whole farmer boy is incredibly sexy and straight out of a Kenny Chesney song, the reality is going to set in that unless you’re a hipster in Adams Morgan with a little plot of herbs and vegetables, farmers have to live out in the middle of nowhere — where the farms are. And the previews for tonight hint that she doesn’t find much appealing about it. Chris floats the idea that there are plenty of opportunities for being a homemaker on his farm, but that just isn’t Andi’s style. While she might be able to open up her own law office and help pork up some farm bills in congress, I’m calling this one a bust. Chris goes home tonight.

3. Marcus

Flip-flopping without the fabulous Mitt Romney hair

I have to be honest — I can’t really remember one date that Marcus and Andi have been on. Which makes him this season’s MH370 flying-under-the-radar award winner! Marcus also has the distinction of being this seasons almost-bailer, even telling Andi that he had his bags packed after the weight of the process became too much for him. While I can sympathize with how much stress traveling the world and visiting exotic locations first-class can generate, it showed a big lack of confidence on his part that Andi definitely picked up on.

Marcus is also fond of keeping a journal of his adventures while on the Bachelor, which is just a tad bit manlier than Chris’ awful poetry collection two seasons ago. Nevertheless, Marcus doesn’t make the final two.

2. Nick

The Tiger Woods of the Bachelorette, before strippers and ambien and golf club attacks

Nick is the contestant everyone loves to hate right now. His over-inflated sense of ego and smarmy way of talking to the other men really set people off. I love him. He knows exactly how to get inside of the other guys’ heads — he can be credited with completely destroying Brian’s psyche last episode that poor Brian can’t even order a pizza without having flashbacks. Even after he got a rose, he swooped into Dylan’s date and stole Andi away; the guy plays to win.

Going into the hometown dates, Nick is definitely the front-runner, and also the guy Andi has the most physical attraction to. Every minute they have alone is spent making out. Which is definitely better than poetry reading.

Nick is also a huge red flag: remember back to the pretexting attack he did on the desk clerk at the last hotel (it’s amazing that 1. it worked and 2. the hotel allowed that footage to air) that allowed him to get Andi’s room number. A little stalkery. And he also has a controlling aspect about him — listen for all the times he tells Andi he doesn’t like her dating the other guys.

Nick will float into the final two, but I can’t see Andi picking him with all the red flags about him.

1. Josh

Juan Pablo:Soccer::Josh:Baseball

Josh’s bio list him as a former professional baseball player, however “pro” is a subjective term. Josh batted .175 in single-A ball, which a toddler could almost achieve by closing his eyes and swinging every time he hears a Barney song with “love” in the lyrics.

But Andi likes athletes, and Andi loves living in Atlanta. Josh is an athlete and lives in Atlanta. This alone will put him over the top. Winner: Josh.