9 Practical Jokes I’m Glad I Never Played

by m.s.wardrip

Terra Mandala

Jokes are fun to play on people but here’s few I thought up and never committed. (Pretty much) I would be in serious trouble if I had.

  1. When I was a cross-country truck driver, I saw a lot of road and highway construction. It occurred to me, one day, that I could set up my own detour. All I needed to do would be to swipe some cones and detour signs from another construction site and move it down the road in the middle of the night. I could have set up a construction site of my own with cones and signs directing all the traffic off the Interstate and into a huge flat field with no roads or exits, only an entrance. There would be hundreds of people in cars, trucks, busses and motorcycles driving around confused in a field. HaHaHa! Not funny! Lives could be lost and I could go to jail.
  2. As I stated before, many travels on the nation’s highways let me see a lot of things. Once I saw a skeleton on a Pennsylvania highway. I alerted other drivers that it looked like a human remains with a rib cage the same size. They came back with the reply that it was a bear carcass and the skeleton looks similar to a human. That got me to thinking about road kill. What if I fabricated weird looking creatures out of plastic and paint and left them on the highway for motorists to ponder. What if they stopped and took pictures. What if it drew a crowd? What if the roadkill looked like aliens or weird distorted creatures right out of a Hollywood movie set? What would happen if you drove up on a ten foot long mouse faced ape lizard looking thing with colored spikes and claws? I’m sure I would get caught and get in trouble.
  3. I always wanted to break into a bank vault and leave an anonymous note that says, “I could have robbed you but I didn’t! HaHaHa!” Again, I’m sure I would get caught and get into very serious trouble.
  4. Imagine this one if you can. I stop my car on a busy street, right in the middle of the block and get out of the car, looking up in the sky, I start pointing and acting like I’m saying something. Pointing at the sky, others are curious and stop, some getting out and looking up too. I keep moving around pointing up and all around. When there is a big commotion going on, I get back in my car and drive off, looking in the rear view mirror thinking, “I hope I don’t get arrested.”
  5. Traveling the nation’s Interstate Highway System, you see many rest areas in many different states. In Georgia I remember a rest area that had, in the lobby, in the middle of the room, a guest register book on a stand. Many people signed the book with their name, date and where they were from. Some people just read the register entries. I always wanted to leave a note on the registry that says, “Don’t look up or turn around. I have gun pointed at your back. Slowly take your wallet out and lay it on the book. Slowly turn around and leave and I will let you live.” Can you imagine what would happen to me if I had done that and got caught?
  6. Another good “Note” practical joke I’m glad I never pulled is the local bank note joke. You go into the lobby where the desk with the deposit slips are. You take one out and write on the back, “This is a stick up! Put the money on a bag and hand it to me and nobody gets hurt.” Then you put the deposit slip back in the stack. A little old lady will come in and fill out the front, never turning it over. Then, she will present it to the teller. The first thing the teller will do is turn it over and read it… and then, they will push the silent alarm. If I had done this, and I did not, I would definitely go to jail. Don’t do this.
  7. When traveling in pairs, here is a good practical joke to play on a waitress in a restaurant. Two people go in the restaurant and sit back to back in booths. Each orders. One orders a drink only. One orders any meal they want off the menu. The drink and meals are served and both enjoy. When no one is looking, they switch guest checks. The one who had the big meal goes up and pays for the drink ticket and leaves. The other person sits there for a few minutes and gets the waitresses attention. “Excuse me, but you gave me the wrong ticket. I didn’t have a meal.” HaHaHa! Don’t do this. I’m glad I didn’t.
  8. Practical Joke Number #8 is actually cruel and I’m so glad I never ever did it, not even once, well, not exactly, I actually did do it once and it was very cruel and the person suffered greatly. Oh, I wish I had not done it, but then again, here I am sharing it with you. What I did was buy some fake lottery tickets. They were all winners. I gave them to my S.O. on their birthday. Excited over the first big win, I acted nonchalant and then came the second big win, then a third and then they knew it was a hoax. The tears started flowing. It was awful Feelings hurt very much. Very cruel, sad and painful experience. Don’t do it.
  9. Number #9 is no brainer. You call the local bar. A bartender answers. You say I’m with the cell phone company here in town. We do this once a year. We are blowing the system out today. Please put your phone in a plastic bag and tie a knot for 60 seconds and then you can open it again. Thanks for being a good customer! Starting Annual Blowout now. Immediately walk into the bar and see the bag on the counter with everyone looking at it. You say, “I see they’re blowing your phone out too.” Then, you just suffer the consequences, HaHa!
  10. Here’s number #10. Now, you create it, but don’t actually do it!