I had some thoughts and put them on Facebook
Dear friends, family, people I barely know but am friends with on Facebook for some reason…
I did a funny thing today. I cried at work.
To my friends, you might know me as the most cynical piece of shit you have ever met. You are right. I hate almost everything. The few things I do care about though include you. All of you. Selfishly of course, because I have more fun when you’re having fun and I am so much happier when you are happier. I can’t help it, and I don’t think you can either.
I cried at work while watching Obama give his farewell speech. I’m not a democrat, not a republican, maybe too emotional, but not a disillusioned — I am a soft, squishy, impressionable human with feelings. And so are you. And so is Obama. And so is Trump.
A tiny gnat or something flew into my eye during Obama’s speech when he said that the Constitution- really just a piece of parchment- is meaningless. That it ultimately depends on the people to give it meaning. To make it true, to make it just, to make this fragile piece of paper mean that the most amount of fairness is shared amongst every single one of us.
This concept applies to more than just the constitution though. The fancy car, the polished Instagram, the belief that you are right or wrong — these are simply things we have given meaning to. And so too do we give each other meaning. And that is one hell of a responsibility.
Because once you recognize the power you and I have over one another, you suddenly control meaning. And meaning controls everything except your beating heart and your breath (when you don’t think about it [you’re thinking about it right now though haha]).
I cried because I am scared I give people the wrong meaning. The wrong advice. The wrong words, thoughts, and ideas (I work in advertising for fuck’s sake). But here I am, writing a bunch of words on Facebook. And here you are, reading those words. Considering. Questioning. Hopefully feeling. Look at what I’ve done to you. That to me seems like too much responsibility alone, and I cried because I am afraid of that power. Afraid to have it in my hands, afraid for you to have it over me, afraid of Donald Trump to have it over this truly great country. But someone cut even more onions when Obama told us, ALL OF US, to never doubt our ability to change things. Because you do have the power to change things. For all the bad, there is so much more good in this world. If the opposite were true, I would not be here, and I don’t know why any of you would want to be here either. The moment you realize how much power you have over this concept of ‘good’-like how you make me feel when you smile, how I feel when I am appreciated, how I feel knowing I exist in a world of 7 billion others with feelings I can either help or hurt- is incredibly powerful.
So I’m trying to change. Everyday. Changing with the simple, no-frills concept of ‘good’ in mind. Not just for me, but hopefully for you too. It’d be so boring without you. Meaningless even.