Positive reinforcement or constructive criticism?

If you google it you’ll find very diverse opinions towards one or another, which leads to the conclusion: it depends! Such volume of so confident but diverse opinions must come from different scenarios observed. I do have a preference when it comes to myself, but still depends on a number of factors indeed.

Perhaps, maybe there are people that are rarely open to criticism (if ever). And so the positive reinforcement may be most often the way to go.

Anyway, I don’t think anyone is always open to receive constructive feedback. Perhaps, often open to. A number of factors may turn out to make someone adverse to that. Is the one receiving feedback open to accept a criticism even if constructive? Does he or she used to be open to criticism? Is he or she open to criticism in that specific context?

• The relationship with the one giving feedback
• Audience involved
• Situation or context

Depending on the relationship with the one giving the feedback, the receiver may not be willing to hear criticism, and will deny or react negatively. Additionally, if the conversation includes other people, the audience may cause a negative effect of putting the receiver in a defensive position. So, if you want to provide feedback to someone, prefer a 1 to 1 conversation.

Also the situation may not be appropriate to criticism. Whether because it is more important to keep the momentum, at least at that point in time; or because it is just something being told and not subjected to reviews from whomever it is.

The most important factor is: the criticism has to be constructive. It has to add value to the discussion, and can never disqualify anyone. And of course, to be constructive should be pertinent. There is nothing more annoying than constant irrelevant criticism.

However when the situation claims for a criticism feedback and the interlocutor go with a not-justified positive reinforcement it is very frustrating.

Picture that: You presents something to someone; starving for an honest opinion; at least to know if he/she is buying your story or not (so you can work on that). However, the interlocutor choose to tap your back, and congrats you, but you can see in his eyes disagreement, disappointment or confusion.

Perhaps he/she thinks you will be upset facing any criticism; perhaps you just had the killer speech and there is nothing else to contribute (not likely). But anyway, it is very frustrating and even offensive — once seems that you don’t deserve that chance to know the true.

In a work environment, if people are too touchy to openly give and receive constructive criticism, this will quickly lead to mediocrity and slow personal and collective growth (if any).

Recently, I came across this article that seems to put a light on the kind of work environment favorable to fast personal and collective growth: Is This the Development Path for You?