Yelp Review Review

Spoiler alert: I gave this review five stars. It’s not often I find a review which exhibits a masterful blend of political commentary and interpersonal drama. This is a review of a restaurant called Parts & Labor, a place to get cheap burgers with a fun industrial theme, so I hardly need to tell you the stakes are already sky-high. By the time JL chooses death over even living in the country where Parts & Labor exists, the reader is emotionally spent.

The review peaks early when JL notes he was very drunk, thereby giving a blurry sheen to the rest of the review. What happened in the restaurant before he was accosted in the street by a modern-day symbol of fascism and the police state? JL, an upstanding 38–40 year old red-blooded American male was no doubt carrying a full-sized American flag in one hand and chugging a full-sized American beer with the other for the hours he spent here. The strength of the rest of the review eliminates the need for context altogether. What a spectacular example of JL’s ability to break the rules after mastering them.

The image of JL on the street, screaming “Fuck guns! America is fucking retarded!” is one which will remain in the hearts and minds of true Americans.