“learning to forgive myself for something that wasn’t my fault.”
This one is a tough row to hoe, because we would rather blame ourselves
with guilt than feel the truth of how helpless we really are to events beyond our control and beyond our ability to imagine. Somehow we equate helpless with hopeless but the opposite is true. Facing up to our vulnerabilities gives us the chance to do for ourselves what we would do for a toddler. Build in safeguards, be alert to danger instead of dismissing it or minimizing it.
We do not have to become fearful, after all we lock our doors not out of fear but out of habit, because it is the right thing to do, to take responsibility for our possessions. We have an inner guide which always lets us know
when we need to take proactive protective action
and we ignore it at our peril leading to guilt and self recriminations
for being such a fool to not have known better.
But knowing something has to be done, does not mean we know what to do
and that is were we feel helpless.
Sadly too often we have to learn after the fact where we let ourselves down
but learn we can and the faster the better.
“I’m still more fearful on the streets and more triggered by street harassment as a result.” Thankfully you see the connection, the best solution overall is self defence classes which are geared specifically to the needs of women.
The most amazing transformation will take place
and you will come out a person of such quiet confidence and strength you will not recognize yourself and every aspect of your life
will change for the better and you will never ever find yourself
in the position of the woman who after surviving her abusive boyfriend
shooting off half of her face saying ,
“ I did not think he would do it, because he never did it
any of the other times he put the gun to my face and threatened me”