What’s the “ perfect” in a relationship ?

What is a perfect relationship?

’Perfect’ could be a little-misunderstood term and its definition could be relative. For someone whose partner came to her rescue when she fell sick, leaving his work aside when it was the most important thing at the time could be a “perfect” moment for her.

Or, when she is at her worst phase without being judged and misunderstood by her guy could be another “perfect” thing. Maybe these are little, yet significant episodes that are crucial towards a secure relationship.

And, such other things…

Every soul wants to feel secure, loved and most importantly valued and respected. While, we keep looking for grand signs that could seal the fate of a relationship. My concern is that in the process of searching for something grand, we might miss out on little signs that could lead to a potential, soulmate stuff relationship.

Love is what this world is made of. We are by nature emotional beings and we need love to survive. There is a much wider definition to love. As your relationship evolves, you understand that love is not just about love. It is just a by-product.

Over the years, my definition of love has taken myriad shapes. At one point in time, love was about exchanging letters, penning down emotions. And, in other time, it was romanticizing about the future together. Those are bygones. Today, I think about love in a whole new way. Maybe it is a matter of chance or it could be my age that is speaking.

Whatever it is, I see love in a much brighter, matured and compassionate way.

I am not sure if one could find his or her soulmate in this lifetime. What I do believe is you would know if you are in the right relationship. As for the “knowing” part, there is no rocket science to it.

You simply know it!

Also, comes along with it some retrospection. Some soul-searching and some observations. And then somehow, you just know that you are already there in your ‘perfect’ relationship.

Does he poke you? If yes, then let him!

One aspect of unconditional love is pushing your partner towards achieving a greater goal. I believe if your partner cares for you, he would push you towards your ambition, your passion.

Often, we mistake relationship for giving all in, especially our individuality. That’s wrong. In the real world, the two must grow, keeping their individuality intact and not lose them.

Again, this shouldn’t be confused with doing things as you please. When you genuinely care for his/her needs, you do things that are healthy for the relationship while taking care of your desires and aspirations alongside.

When your companion gives you a nudge for the things you believe in and things that inspire you. Then, this person could be someone worth fighting for, worth living for…for a lifetime.

When you find your partner vouching for the things you are serious about, you know what to do.

Life goes like a sinusoidal curve. So, does a relationship. There are troughs and crests at many points. But, having a partner who believes in your dreams, who supports you unconditionally and never wanting you to change for any reason. Then, no matter how many curve balls life throws at you. Stick to that person.

Is he compassionate?

It is quite convenient to talk about future, plan fun things with each other, and so much more, right? But, an essential part is whether your partner listens to you in the hour of need, shows compassion and empathizes with your feelings. He may not be able to solve all your life’s problems but, his time for you makes the difference.

The important thing is the ability to realize his subtle way of doing things for you. If you get that, then you are already lucky to have such a wonderful person in your life.

Your values and his values, are they aligned?

Somewhere down the line, I have come to this understanding that it is not important to have same career goals but, it is crucial to have similar values. It could be your outlook towards the mankind, or it could be your belief in a system. You share the same values when it comes to infidelity, dishonesty and life’s bigger problems. When your partner’s thoughts resonate with yours’, life becomes easier. You can talk anything under the sun. All of a sudden, it feels how strong you are together, ready to take on the world.

Respect, respect, and respect.

This is all we need! You know love is just a by-product. What I mean to say is love actually stems from respect you have for each other. Those initial days are just an attraction, you are attracted physically, intellectually or spiritually. But, these things doesn’t last long unless you truly have a regard for each other.

With time, we become vulnerable to our partners. We open up and we don’t hide our innermost fears and insecurities anymore. It is not at all a bad idea to open up to our partners. Things only turn ugly when you pick up a fight and use your partner’s weak points as your defense. Then starts a series of name-calling to win the argument without even reasoning for once that you are hurting the other person and hurting his/her dignity.

Love wears out if respect doesn’t exist between two souls. It is like denying and robbing you of your identity, your dignity. What that would be like? Do you think you can love that person, have those feelings of attraction? The answer is too obvious, I believe.

We always set some standards by which we try to measure how much love exist in a relationship, how far it can go and how strong the relationship is. But, we have to go one step ahead.

The key to a right relationship is in your hands. Stop looking for signs. Those things never happen.

Look for self-respect, dignity, happiness, trust and compassion. If you find yourself with those ingredients, then you are already cooking a delicious, tasteful relationship.