The tale of I

A transient glance that tingled my core. I had heard about the myth called ionization and the elation accompanying it. But here I was, experiencing a situation that I’m certain, comes close to it. “Never before, never again”- I muttered. In all honesty, I selfishly wanted to experience it again. I had not been taught the nuances of memory, patterns, or repetitions. How was I discerning something so unimaginable? I am an electron and No! I am not meant to be this way.

I felt a glimpse of her a while back, having abruptly woken up from my slumber. In the midst of the chaotic nothingness, there she was. Spinning a delightful web of fractals, I felt her form-like exterior coercing me. It was another electron! Until then, I knew everything about myself and the void around me. I made complete sense and it only had me. This was new, and it was beautiful. Reconciling with the majesty of the situation, I leapt towards her.

But how did I know it was a ‘her’? Oh, I knew for sure. For when I spun one way, she spun the other. When she seemed indispensable, I seemed redundant. When I felt carefree, she was unquestionably remorseful. We were complementary in one dimension, indistinguishable in another. A match made in heaven. My notion of this heaven was eternity- I was tired snapping out of existence and being hopelessly ephemeral. I wanted the moment to last forever, however mundane. This was my vice and in this, I was none the wiser.

She whiffed closer with unbridled joy- her trail of fractals arousing the void. Embrace the journey, let go the destination- I was taught. I was savoring every moment, with my limited consciousness . And somewhere along the way, the mysticism began to wear out. From an orbit called utopia, I swayed to one laced with reality. As I swerved around that familiar corner, pertinence asked if I was willing to commit? What is commitment after all?, I asked myself. Eternity was elusive but not anymore. She was going to be here, staring at my face. Commitment is acknowledgement, commitment is an essence, commitment is rational. Did I want this? Was I ready for this? My head hurt.

When I woke up moments later, I was back in the sea of utopia. Did I never digress or was I routed back? Either way, this seemed the new reality- thanks to fate. She was now in front of me and I was ready to be sensed. In a flash, we bounced off each other into territories unknown. The repulsion was so vile. She was this close and now she is farther than oblivion.

Oh, how could this ever work?, I wondered. I am not meant to be. In a strange way, rationality and acknowledgement had taken over- I now had an identity. Or so I thought, until I faded away.

This was me. An indelible reflection of myself. Forever alone, yet never lonely.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.