WHY PEOPLE ARE WRONG ABOUT MATURITY

Michael Stone
Sep 9, 2018 · 4 min read

How to be more mature the right way

Photo by MTarnowski on Plays-In-Business.com

The word “maturity” is tossed around often in today’s society, but most people misunderstand what being mature really entails. Maturity is seen as a trait that is developed with age, however this is not true at all. Maturity is a mindset that doesn’t have anything to do with age or outward appearance.

So what do people see maturity as?

If I lined up the following group of people:

- A teenager wearing ripped jeans and a singlet, with a mohawk, who came from a party

- A young adult woman wearing a fur jacket, heels and enough jewellery to fill an Egyptian tomb, who came from a shopping spree at designer clothing stores

- A middle-aged, clean-shaven man wearing a suit, with a smart haircut and tie, who came from his office job

Who would you think is the most mature?

Obviously, most people would say the middle-aged man due to his respectable appearance and office job, but is he really the most mature? The real answer is that we have no idea which of these people is the most mature. Maturity tends to be viewed as how respectable a person dresses or acts, as this is a measure of how “on track” their life is. This assumption is dangerously incorrect, as for all we know, the respectable middle-aged man goes home after work, gets drunk and abuses his wife, while the teenager was at the party to pick up their friend who wasn’t feeling well.

People get too caught up in what a person wears and how they present themselves that they don’t realise how shallow of a judgement on maturity this is. Think of someone you know who people often say are “mature for his/her age”. Does this person dress in “mature” clothes and speak slowly while controlling their tone? Are they serious people who are never silly or mess around? These tend to be the people who are perceived as “mature”, however when you stand back and properly look at them, you realise that it’s all an appearance and anyone can act in that manner. These people, despite being praised for their maturity, are often condescending, egotistical and altogether not very fun to be around.

In contrast, people who play silly games, make jokes and mess around are scolded for being immature, however these are the people who are fun to be around since they don’t spend all of their time acting like they’re better than everyone else.

So what is real maturity?

Now that I’ve shown you that real maturity isn’t what you wear or how you act, you may be wondering what maturity actually is and how to develop it. The first thing that needs to be realised is that maturity has nothing to do with outward appearance. A person isn’t more or less mature because they make jokes or have an extreme haircut. Real maturity is a state of mind. It’s being able to forgive people who wronged you, dealing with emotional turmoil and overcoming your personal challenges, and it’s about doing all this without making a show out of it to other people.

True maturity is doing the right thing without seeking praise or an audience, which is why the truly mature people are never the ones recognised for their maturity. People who have true maturity are able to unashamedly joke around with their friends, as they put themselves on the same level, rather than looking down on them, however they’re also able to be serious and supportive when these friends are upset or need help.

True maturity is revealed only in difficult situations, where people who act mature will often break down and struggle to deal with the issue, whereas people who possess proper maturity, which is not just for show, will be able to handle any problems they are presented with.

So there you have it.

If you want to be more mature, don’t focus on wearing smarter clothing or putting yourself above others, as these are just cheap tricks to fool ignorant people into thinking you’re mature. The best and simplest way to become truly mature is to develop yourself as a person without any regard for society’s false idea of maturity, as once you’ve gained dedication and compassion, and are constantly working to improve yourself, people will respect you for your ideals, rather than for a falsehood that anyone can enact.

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