Holiday Party

You get a Paperless Post to your inbox and open it up.

A holiday party on Saturday, December 12th. Drinks, delicacies, and music. Damn this is going to be fancy.

The guy who invited you is a bit older, probably in his mid-thirties. So not that much older, but definitely old enough to notice the difference in style. A bougie day party with fancy cocktails and dank h’orderves. The last party you threw was a Halloween rager that ended at 1am with the cops knocking down your door.

You picture the small talk and networking and your neck tenses up just thinking about it. Then there’s the real issue with this entire party. Who are you going to bring?

Holiday parties always seem to expose your lack of commitment throughout the previous year. Not having a girlfriend to bring to these things when you were 23/24 was fine. You were young and should’ve been playing the field.

But you’re 27 now and it seems like everyone around you is getting serious. Some of your friends have plans to move in with their girlfriends. Some already have. Meanwhile, you’re still swiping right, hoping for something to hit.

It’s a lonely feeling not knowing who to bring to a party. You could ask a girl that’s just a friend, but then everyone will think she’s your girlfriend and that’s not cool for her. You could ask a buddy — one of them is bound to want a break from their serious girlfriends. Or you could go solo — be confident, meet new people, become the life of the party.

None of those options seem that appealing to you, though. Around the holidays, you kind of just want someone you love and care about to bring to these kooky events. Someone who can help get you through all the small talk and bullshitting. Someone who doesn’t care how much egg nog you drink or how ugly you look in your ugly sweater.

But the holidays end. And then what. Come January are you really going to want a serious girlfriend? Are you really committed to the idea of a something longterm? At this point, probably not.

Just then you realize something amazing. The party’s on a Saturday and during the holidays, you work on Saturdays.

What a fucking relief. You can’t even go.

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