“ 23 years in prison made me a leader, not a follower.” Cherri

My name is Cherri. I tell people my story, because I am not ashamed of what I went through. It made me a better person, it made me a stronger woman. I am leader, I am not a follower today.

I was born and raised in Mississippi, until I was 14. What I went through was considered child abuse. My family was very straight, I was the rebellious one. We moved to Oregon, which was a big cultural change for me. I had a very deep southern accent. So growing up in that culture, I would get bullied a lot. I remember saying “Yes ma’am” to my gym teacher, and she just yelled at me “Don’t call me ma’am, that’s an insult to me.” I also had some issues with my stepfather, so I ended up leaving home when I turned 18.

I met a man who was ten years older than me. It was good the first year, but it became a domestic violence situation. It got to the point where it was going to be me or him, so one day I walked away and left everything. I had two children by him, and ended up losing them to CPS (Child Protective Services), because of his actions. I haven’t seen my children since my daughter was two and my son was one year old. I have contact with my daughter now, we text every day. I have a granddaughter that I haven’t met yet, they live in Oklahoma.

“I had two children by him, and ended up losing them to CPS, because of his actions.”

The man I was with became a stalker for two years. Being around the wrong people as I was running away from him, I ended up in prison for conspiracy for the murder of a child molester.

My intent wasn’t to harm the accused, it was my concern as a mother. I had said that if it was my daughter, I would take him out and I would kill him. I think anybody could have said that, but they took it out of context and used it against me. So I got 25 years to life.

I have quite a few regrets. For one, not being a strong woman at that time for my children. Having to make that choice and giving them up at that time. It tore me up. I told them about their father, the abuse, everything that led up to my prison sentence. Because I am a very honest person, not matter what you ask I am going to be totally honest with you, and that’s the way I was raised.

Another regret I had was with my crime, not being more observant and not really paying attention to what was going on around me. Five of my juries said that the reason why they convicted me was because they didn’t feel I did anything to prevent it from happening. Like I didn’t call the police. But I was raised in a family where family took care of family. There was a lot of skeletons in the closet and you didn’t call the police for anything. That’s one my biggest regrets, not getting the help, because there is a possibility the so-called child molester did not even do it. He probably lost his life for nothing.

I did 23 years. When I walked through the gates of the prison I was young, I was 26 years old. I had a choice, I could choose a destructive path, but I chose the constructive path. And from day one I was positive while I was in there, you know, I had a good attitude, I didn’t let it change me. I created some programs, a little sister mentor program for the youth in prison. It would pair lifers such as myself who had been down for 23 years with the youth, and let them know they have choices.

“And from day one I was positive while I was in prison, I didn’t let it change me.”

I got my GED within the first months, and then I got into the auto body painting program, which was a passion for me, working on cars. And then I worked at the hospice, created a support group, organized health fairs, did event planning. I was lead over 17 volunteers, I also did clerical work, and grief counseling. At that time I worked with the public health department there. I stayed very busy.

My family came a couple of times, but my parents still live in Oregon, so it was expensive to come to California. For the first 18 years I didn’t see anyone, I didn’t have any visitors.

“For the first 18 years in prison I didn’t have any visitors.”

I was released May 24th 2013. I had a lot of dreams and aspirations. But it’s totally different, there is a whole new cultural change when you get out. I am still adjusting, and it has been a little over three years now. Of course my biggest obstacle was finding housing. Because when I got out, I had to stay in San Francisco county for my parole, and it’s so expensive here. I knew no one, I have no family here.

I was sent to 111 Taylor Street, which is a halfway house, to find housing from there. When I reached my three year mark on my five year maximum parole, my parole officer filed the paperwork without me knowing. So one evening he tells me that I’ve been discharged off from parole, and when I came home from work the next day I couldn’t get in the door. They told me it was against the law for me to be in the building because I was no longer on parole. I was able to grab one little bag and that was the day I became homeless, on the streets.

“They told me it was against the law for me to be in the building because I was no longer on parole. I was able to grab one little bag and that was the day I became homeless, on the streets.”

I actually made a lot of friends on the streets. Showing them compassion and concern, I built rapport with them, they know who I am. They actually showed me more love and compassion and care than people who say they love me.

Often people will stereotype you. But then again you don’t know where we come from. I met homeless people who have background as lawyers, doctors. You don’t know what their background is until you really sit down and talk to them. They have had careers, they just fell on hard times and ended up homeless out on the streets.

“I met homeless people who have background as lawyers, doctors. You don’t know what their background is until you really sit down and talk to them.”

I have a lot of skills, I have so many jobs that I can do, but you look at me out there and you are going think totally different. You might think “Oh she’s a drug addict, or she’s an alcoholic, or if I give her this money she is going to go use it on this or that.” But that isn’t the case because I don’t do any of that. My purpose is what I am asking you for.

At one point I got a job at San Francisco pit stop. But when I became homeless I missed a day and a half of work because of a domestic violence situation with my boyfriend at that time, and I lost my phone on BART. I used the only 50 cent I had to call my co-worker so he could cover for me, and I called him like 9 times and kept hanging up, because I didn’t want it to go to voicemail. My boyfriend had hit me, so I had a mark on my face and they suspended me for 30 days. Apparently they are not hiring me back, so I am still looking for work.

“I want to start my non-profit organization for youth at risk.”

I am not sure what is going to happen tomorrow. That’s why I learned to live in the now, you know, just take it as it comes each day, keep pushing forward. I want to start my non-profit organization for youth at risk, and one of the things is I want to have come in is a program called “Alternative to Violence.” I’m actually a facilitator for that, and it deals with transforming your power. There are better ways to dealing with things than have it turn into a violent situation. Because a lot of the people are youngsters who are getting shot and kill out there. But I think it starts with the parents, and with my organization I want to get them involved too, and get the lifers to mentor the youths.

“You smile at one person, and it’s going to spread to the next, the next and the next.”

I want to say to people who read this: don’t stereotype people that are homeless on the streets, maybe just take that time out to say good morning or God bless you, or ask how you are doing today. That makes a difference in someone’s life. A lot of them are lonely out there, or they are giving up. Just a smile, it’s contagious, you know, you smile at one person, and it’s going to spread to the next, the next and the next.

A week after this interview, Cherri told us she had found a new job. Congratulations Cherri!