Thank you Dear ex-husband..
This is story about a modern yet traditional girl and her recent experience with divorce, the word she always dreaded but how she comes to term with it. In her own words ….
A difficult subject indeed when you add “ex” to it. But nevertheless interesting one. It took me a while to come to a state of acceptance that it’s no more your husband but your ex-husband.
So here we start..Thank you for all that you have done for me all the years we were together and believe me today I have no regrets of my decision to separate from you and lead a life I am living today. So Thank you !!
But it wasn’t easy to come to terms with it as it may sound today. It took me good 1 year to accept to the fact that we are not together and how will I cope up living without you. And when I say that I think to myself that it was never without you but just the persona of you or just the idea of having husband and happy marriage. The union that can never break and once you tie that knot, you are in it forever and ever. ( i.e the traditional her so firm in her values, her faith in god , giving utmost respect to the institution of marriage- her idea of marriage ).
I was in denial for a very long time that I was happy in this marriage and no matter what I am going to stick with it. This is coming from a person who said divorce is not in my dictionary. Yes I say that loud I use to be that girl but not anymore. People evolve people change with time and only thing that stays constant is the ‘change’ itself.
So here I am today writing this letter to affirm my beliefs and accept that it is completely OK for people to separate when things go wrong. And it takes a lot of courage to walk out of an unhappy union/marriage, it is not easy as it looks. When I say that I mean you don’t have to stay in an unhappy marriage just because you signed those marriage papers or you exchanged vows in front of million people when you are the one who was so miserable just sustaining that tag of marriage.
Well miserable not because my ex husband did any mean things or ill treated me ( Well it was never the case here). He actually taught me many good things and I choose to only remember the good just for my happiness and mental satisfaction because I want to remember it that way. In my heart I have no love for you anymore but I still have some respect for you to have lived those years civilly and coming to this decision even more civilly which you never had the guts to take it but in a way made me do it. So I thank you for saving me of that miserable life.
But you cant really save a union between a mismatch couple( believed to be made in heaven as per mythological gods ). Two totally different personalities who wanted different things from life and from each other so 1 day it had to come to an end because the threads that tie any relationship together were missing in this case.
So with a sigh of relief I completely accept my actions and have no regrets whatsoever which was not the case earlier. So all those emotions and ups and downs in the last one year were a full roller coaster ride indeed.
When it started I was on a different high because I was so confident of my decision and what I was doing that it felt so right doing it in the very 1st place but then few months later the reality started to kick in that this is for real.
Now we are not together anymore we don’t share a home together and we don’t have same common friends we use to go to every weekend. All the movies, dinners, hanging out with common friends comes to an end and you move to a completely different city or country. Then that negativity and feeling of remorse sets in wish I was better off there only and you keep going into that spiral again and again and the doubts try to set it. And believe me that is not a good place to be in at all. The state of denial, doubting your own decision you were once very confident about. But then life doesn't stop for anyone and it did not stop for me either.
It kept on going day after day. With a lot of help from family and friends to help you realize that you did the right thing and this was your decision from the very beginning. It was never forced upon you that you took it forcibly and regretting now. All those endless hours of blaming, being unhappy and unsure of what I have done came to an end soon once I started accepting my decision. In that moment I realized the “power of acceptance”.
“Today I own up to my decision and take full responsibility of my actions. And in saying so I am in a happy state of mind. I have started living my life at a full pace and the way I always wanted it to be”. Do things I really enjoy. And I started to find pleasures in such simple things in life which were so trivial before, It’s unbelievable!! I have started liking the new me and I always wish I stay the same or lets say change for the better if need be.. haha.
So this sums up this beautiful story about this modern yet traditional girl in this satirical world we live in today’s time who still continues on her journey but now in more acceptance of herself and embracing her fears and moving on towards a hopeful future. Hope you enjoy it too !!
Thanks you once again Dear ex-husband !!