Pauline’s Story

I was born into a Christian household, which is a blessing in disguise even though it may not seem like it. My childhood contained of me being in church more than anything because my mother was a minister. Even though I was born into one, I didn’t become a follower/disciple until my sophomore year in college. My freshman year, I left everything I learned about Christianity at home. My faith was important but it wasn’t my main concern. I wanted to party and make friends. One day, I felt this deep empty space within me that I wanted to get rid of. I tried using parties and food but none of that worked, so I turned to Jesus. He said “if we draw from him, we’ll never thirst again” (John 4:14) and that’s what I did. As a young child, my faith was based on good works because I feared going to hell so much. I tried my best to follow his guidelines not because I loved him but because I wanted to escape hell. I boxed everything about myself due to that fear. I didn’t allow myself to be true because of the fear of perishing.

My sophomore year, I learned about what Christianity truly was through this documentary I watched on Netflix (American Gospel: Christ alone). The documentary thoroughly explained that salvation is accepting what Jesus did and living in the freedom of what he did. That doesn’t mean, ‘continue Sinning because his grace will prevail’ but it meant I didn’t have to fear going to hell. “Whom the son sets free is free indeed” (John 8:36) and that included setting me free from hell as long as I am with him. The documentary also explained just good works wasn’t enough, I needed to have that relationship with him. So my journey began. I would spend time with him because I wanted to know this man named Jesus. This man that my mom was obsessed with. As I spent time with him, I realized he was real. I also realized, he wasn’t only a judge but also my father. I began to draw near him and stopped fearing hell because Jesus has the final say over who goes to hell. Why be scared of a place when the author has the final decision? I shouldn’t fear the place but I should fear the one who holds the key to it. The more I am focused on God, the less I worry about hell. Knowing this truth, I allowed myself to be real with him. I don’t sugarcoat my Christian faith to people because I want people to know that it isn’t easy but it’s worth it. After spending time in the word to know him, the next step was to find a bible believing church. I asked the Holy Spirit where he wanted me, so he sent me to a church near my house. For 6yrs, I was a church goer. I didn’t become involved because I wanted the Holy Spirit to actually tell me to get involved. I know, it’s weird. I did that because I didn’t want to be a victim of church hurt. If the Holy Spirit tells u to do something, nothing can stop you from fulfilling it even when times get tough. After 6yrs, I finally became involved and met my amazing friends who turned to family. When my faith is down, they’re here to lift me up and pray for me. This Christian walk is not easy because affliction will rise. Christians are not immune to afflictions, but we have a God who can deliver us in times of trouble. Jesus is so worth it! I am who I am today because of Him.