From Caterpillar to Butterfly.

It’s pretty strange isn’t it?

How people perceive you in a way that you may not actually be. As most of you may perceive me as outgoing, friendly and always standing my ground. Yes, in some aspects that would be very true but, have you ever thought not everything may be as it seems? Everyone is made up of a puzzle as I see it. All the things that happen in our life make us the person we are today.

Sometimes I will sit on a bus and feel really anxious — but then I look around to the people that are on the bus with me and realise that I may not be the only person feeling this way. What is apparent on the outside does not necessarily mimic the inside — mental health is not something that you will always notice, but it is still living in a person. It just makes me feel that little bit better knowing that I am not alone.

Over the years, the A word has held me back from so many things such as going to college every day to spending time with my friends or family. It’s a very difficult thing to explain to someone but when you get the courage to do so, you get this sense of relief that you are being understood. I was so hesitant to go speak to someone about it all but I found many ways to cope and I am feeling so much better within myself.

I am sorry to bore you all with my long blog but writing things down actually helps relieve all the stress and tension that you keep locked up in your mind. I’d like to thank my closest friends that have started to finally understand my change in nature! I am sorry for always cancelling and being a pain in the arse but I will always appreciate your help and patience. In addition, my college tutors who have saved me from quitting college and continuing to pursue my dreams, my work family who always have my back and always make work enjoyable to come to and finally my wonderful mum, who has always stuck by me through thick and thin, no matter how hard things have become! I love you all!

So basically, this is a blog about coping with the A word and the ways that have helped me to control it. Now, these won’t work for everyone and I am not saying they will be 100% effective but why not just give them a try? Remember — you are the one who can fill your world with sunshine.

#1 Challenge your negative thoughts.

There is such a thing as black and white thinking which basically means all or nothing. Try to see the grey in between — try to see the positive sides of things and write them down on a piece of paper. If you find it easier to do so, I used to try and outweigh the positive/negatives of a situation to see what was best for me. For example — if I didn’t feel up for going out with my friends for the day, then I would write down all the good reasons to see them as well as what I thought negatively about.

#2 Learn to control your breathing.

Panic attacks are really scary and random but when you know how to control them, it will get so much easier. The best way I have found (especially when I am with friends or on my own) is to try and name 5 things around me to do with the 5 senses. It normally helps to focus my energy on something rather than my breathing. In addition, there are a lot of apps out there that help to control breathing too!

#3 Build better relationships.

Volunteer to do something that you enjoy and makes you feel good about yourself such as, helping out at your local nursing home or raising money for a charity. This will also help you engage with a small number of people but also improve your communication skills. Good relationships sometimes suffer when things aren’t understood. Talk to your friends and spend as much time with them when you can! I regret turning down parties and days out but now I am going out again with my friends and they understand what I am going through, I have no regrets going out anymore! My job also helps me to control my anxiety especially when I am serving people who appreciate everything I do!

# Make changes to lifestyle.

People may get annoyed with me talking about gym all the time but who cares? It makes me feel good! So here are some extra lifestyle changes as well as the gym to help overcome anxiety:

· Avoid too much caffeine or limit your intake — I can’t really talk as I work at Starbucks so I am always drinking coffee because I love it, but it does sometimes make me feel a bit uneasy so I have switched to juices! Coffee, tea and fizzy drinks are full of sugar (which makes you feel crap anyway) and also increase anxiety symptoms.

· Drink alcohol in moderation — I have never been a heavy drinker because I am always backing out of parties, but I do love going to the pub sometimes! Being around a lot of people and drinking alcohol is never a good thing for me. I always have to go to the toilet to get away from it all as alcohol can sometimes trigger panic attacks. You can still have a good night without getting drunk! Never put yourself in a situation that you don’t feel comfortable in because you “feel bad” for not drinking — your friends will understand.

· Quit smoking — I have cut down on smoking because I found it was the one thing that really caused my anxiety to hit the roof. Nicotine is a stimulant which causes higher levels of anxiety — if it is really hard to quit, try changing to social smoking or e-cigarettes.

· Get a good night’s sleep — This is one I am still working on but getting an adequate amount of sleep each night can help you stay calm in social situations. I normally listen to sleep hypnosis videos on YouTube before I sleep which help me feel refreshed in the morning and ready for the day.

I hope this hasn’t dragged on but I really just love to help people — this isn’t something I’d wish upon anyone but it’s the little things in life that can make a big difference. Remember that I am here for anyone who needs advice or just someone to talk to. You are never alone!

Thank you for taking your time to read my blog!

Lots of love,

Gemma xo