Pagi ini: on not being good enough

The problem with feeling inadequate for a romantic interest/partner is that you try and try to mold yourself into a shape that you think the other person will not only notice, but also feel a strong desire to fight for, only to risk losing your sense of self. Admiration is a good thing; it makes you look at another person and study him/her for bits and pieces that will do you good. That process involves knowing what you truly lack and finding outside examples that will help you deal. But to be made to feel inferior and “not good enough” is to let another person who doesn’t know what it’s like to be you walk all over who you are. And why would you let anyone do that? Sure, you may not be all that settled on who you are at the moment. The things you like still changes depending on who you hangout with, you’re quietly observing most conversations, there are all these references you’re yet to fully sort through; a personal taste in life that’s still in the process of being perfected. But that doesn’t invalidate your entire being and that definitely doesn’t mean the way of life and tastes of that other person is the truest way to live. Listen to music you like, stay in or go out if that’s what you like, know where you want to have dinner. Know your preferences. They may not make you the right person for the relationship but they make you you and that’s enough. If it doesn’t work out, hey, it takes two to be incompatible.

P.S. File under things I would tell my 16-year-old self

P.P.S. Wow this sounds like an Askfm answer, sans the question

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