The Big Bang (part 9)
This evening something changed. We had to spend a couple of hours with one of our friends and managed to maintain normality. We talked about other things and laughed as if nothing had happened. It was the first time we had tested whether either of us were capable of doing that, and it felt okay.
When we got home, we talked for a couple of hours and my wife was incredibly upbeat. We discussed future scenarios: where we might each be living, what Christmas might look like, holidays and minibreaks we might still like to take together. In other words, plotting how to stay very much in each others’ lives after the break-up. We also agree that we want our last year together to be as fabulous as possible.
She returns to the topic of the kind of man I want - I don’t know yet. She wants assurances that I will find someone who accepts that my daughter and ex-wife are part of my life, and that I won’t abandon them. I point out that I am entering my late 30s and that potential suitors are likely to be a similar age (or more likely, older) and that they will also bring baggage into the relationship. Who knows, when I fine The One, he may also be a divorced ‘straight’ guy with kids. From this point forward, nothing in my life is likely to be entirely conventional.
This talk seems to help. We laughed more and cried less this evening and it felt good.
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