I Loathed Gym Class — Now I Love Fitness
How I went from despising P.E. (so much that I told myself that I will never work out again), to loving a good workout.
I had almost zero interest in sports in school, with the exception of cheerleading and maybe track, but I wasn’t on either team. I primarily had an interest in cheerleading because the uniforms were cute, and I liked the art of the sport itself, but I wasn’t too keen on the whole school spirit thing. Track? Well, I have always had a slight love for running, but I preferred to run at my leisure, not competitively. (I’d also prefer to spend my evenings playing The Sims 3 rather than at practice.) Every other sport was a hard no for me, especially the ones that involved a ball, potential collision with other people, or both, not to mention the competitive side of it. People can be so cruel in competitive sports if you are the reason that your team isn’t taking home the gold, and I understand that. I just prefer not to get multiple earfuls because I didn’t want to risk a possible concussion or a broken bone for the sake of the winning point.
Anyway, with all of that said, you can probably guess that I was bound to not be a fan of gym class by any stretch. Honestly, I feel that most of us non-sporty folks weren’t big fans of gym class, at least not past the elementary school years when it stopped being fun and started becoming competitive. Seriously, why did we have to switch from fun warmups and various versions of dodgeball to fitness tests and basketball and volleyball? If I wanted to play those sports, I would have signed up for those teams. Yet, here I was, being forced to pretend to have an interest in these games while getting yelled at by the kids that were on the school basketball team because I didn’t care if our “team” won the meaningless game before lunch. It’s not like we were going to win a trophy, a title, or anything of value for winning. Not only that, but I also preferred not to sweat during 5th period to have to go back to class with sweaty hair, sweated off makeup, and smelling like armpit sweat. I was already going to have my mood ruined after being yelled at and taunted by the jocks; I didn’t need to ruin my hair and makeup too. Nor did I need to get hit in the head by a basketball to get the ball from the other team or throw my body on the floor for a volleyball.
I could go on and on about my distaste for gym class and practically everything about it. Admittedly, there was one activity I did enjoy in gym class, and I even looked forward to it; I loved going into the weight room. Lifting day was the one day a week where I could do my own thing and not be yelled at by the jocks for not winning the game. It was the one day of the week when I could go at my own pace, set my own goals, and I only had to contend with myself. Seriously, I loved lifting day; it was the only day I wouldn’t intentionally forget my gym shoes at home or fake sick to sit out if I knew I still had some “free” days to sit out before I got an F for the quarter. However, the unpleasant parts of gym class left such a bad taste in my mouth that I swore that I would never work out again after I finished the last quarter of P.E. my freshman year. Gym class had left such a bad taste in my mouth about fitness that I wanted nothing to do with anything related to fitness, ever again. Let me tell you, that sentiment stayed with me for quite some time.
For the longest time, I associated working out with rude jocks, pushy gym teachers, smelly school locker rooms, and complicated sports games that did not appeal to me to even watch, much less play. Even the solo activities such as lifting and running, I began to associate with the rude jock types I had dealt with in middle school and early high school. For years I would roll my eyes when someone would tell me to work out or even to take care of my body because I associated fitness with the awful experience that was gym class. I was adamant about never working out again in protest of P.E. I was vehemently against the idea of doing any sort of workout. I even wanted to advocate for removing the gym requirement from the school curriculum so nobody else would have to go through what I went through. To this day, I still want to modify the curriculum for physical education, although I no longer wish to remove it.
My Attitude Towards Fitness Shifted Completely — Almost Overnight
So, spoiler alert, my disdain for fitness did not last forever, and when my attitude toward working out shifted, it shifted rapidly. In a brief period of time, I went from despising the very idea of working out to loving to workout and having fitness change my life for the better. So, what caused this sudden shift in my attitude? Well, the answer is quite simple, the internet. Even more specifically, one very amazing fitness instructor/content creator on the internet, Cassey Ho (Blogilates). I honestly credit so much of my love for fitness to Cassey, as it was this amazing woman who convinced me that exercise wasn’t just for jocks on the school sports teams or the buff people who lift massive weights at the gym to show off. Fitness was for girly girls like me too, and the workouts could be elegant and fun. Cassey showed me that instructors can be kind and encouraging, and the Popster community showed me that not everyone who works out will tear you down when you feel like you have dropped the ball. As a matter of fact, the fitness community can actually be quite supportive. It was a major culture shock to me, but it was the wonderful culture shock that changed my mind about working out.
I’ll be honest, I don’t remember how exactly I came upon my first Blogilates video. I believe it was somewhere in the “suggested” or “related” section on another random YouTube video that I was watching, or maybe it was on the homepage that day. Whatever the case may have been, I felt compelled to click on the video out of pure curiosity. Perhaps, I just wanted to have a little giggle while watching a workout video while sitting on my toosh eating cookies, so I clicked on it to get a laugh. I don’t remember what my exact intentions were when I clicked on the video, but I can tell you that trying the workout was never my original intention. However, once the video started, I found myself instantly intrigued by the workout itself and found myself sitting there for hours watching Blogilates workouts. I was drawn to Cassey’s vibrant, encouraging, fun-loving, feminine, and energetic personality. I was drawn to the elegance of the dance-like moves on the mat. I was sold on the idea that I should at least try a few of these workouts out, and I actually couldn’t wait until the next day so that I could try one of Cassey’s workouts. And even though I very much struggled with the first few workouts that I initially tried, I knew that I had discovered something that I would enjoy for years to come.
Admittedly, it took me a few more years to fully adopt an active lifestyle. However, when I knew that I needed a lifestyle change going into 2017, adding more physical activity into my everyday life was at the very top of my list of changes to make. I had heard that exercise was wonderful for battling depression and anxiety, and that was my primary goal, even more so than any vanity-related goal or even the desire to get physically stronger. And I have to say, I noticed a drastic improvement in my mental health when I began exercising regularly. It is worth noting that I made various other changes to my lifestyle alongside implementing fitness into my life, such as fixing my backward sleep schedule, being more mindful about what (and why) I’m eating, and taking better care of myself all-around. However, I believe that all of the changes that I made to my life were tied together. Honestly, my 2017 New Year’s Resolution to change my life for the better, the changes I made, and my reasons behind are a topic of their own, so I digress.
My point? I was now looking to fitness as a source of goodness and even as a source of joy and enjoyment. I was no longer looking at exercise as something to be avoided like the plague. I began looking for new workouts and new formats of exercise to try out and I was getting excited about them. I was setting goals for myself and often smashing them, often surprising myself at just how much I could actually do. Who knew I could run 4 miles on a regular basis and 7+ miles when I’m extra energetic? Initially, I didn’t either. I hadn’t believed in myself in a long time, in general, and especially not athletically. Yet, I was beginning to see what I was capable of, and I began to believe in myself off of the workout mat as well. Did I have crummy workout days? Yes, and I still do, but every fitness lover has bad workout days. There are also days when I simply don’t want to work out, and it takes a little extra motivation to get myself to get off my butt and get active. This is 100% normal too; no one is motivated every single day. Heck, even most instructors will tell you that they have days where they just want to sit on the couch, eat chips and ice cream, and watch Netflix, if they’re being honest with you. But even with all of that said, overall, exercise now brings me joy, and I start missing it when I don’t work out for a few days; whether because I wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t, or blatantly chose not to because I wanted to play The Sims.
To Summarize
To finish off this article, I would like to briefly summarize what the key differences between gym class and working out on my own are, because honestly, I would still despise the gym class that I was subjected to up to this very day…
P.E. focused on team sports, and I’m an introvert.
As an introvert, it goes without saying that I prefer to do things alone, and well, you simply can’t play team sports alone. You have to constantly communicate with your team mates and even come into close contact with people. I’m not going to elaborate on this because we all know there’s no “I” in team. (Blah, blah, blah.) However, I preferred to stand off in the corner away from everyone, where I knew the ball was unlikely to go. Yet, occasionally, the ball would still come my way, bringing a swarm of rowdy people with it, who were often coming for my head because I ducked out of the way.
Yet, when I’m doing a home workout, I’m on my own. In blissful peace and quiet. With nothing flying at my head and no one coming for my head, or trying to “get me in the game”.
I prefer to set my own goals and go at my own pace, not meet someone else’s expectations.
Do not get me wrong, I am a very goal-oriented person, and I love pushing myself to see what I can do. I love setting goals, smashing them, celebrating my wins, and then working towards the next goal. However, the goal has to mean something to me, and I have to work towards it at my own pace. P.E. offered very little leeway for me to set my own goals, as the goals had already been set by the curriculum. Or the goal was just to win the game for meaningless bragging rights that would fade by the time the bell rang for the next class period.
Also, I certainly did not like having to keep up with the pace of kids on the varsity basketball and volleyball teams at a sport they had years of practice with. (I also had no interest in getting to their level, let’s be honest.)
If I mess up my workout, no one will be mad at me for it but myself.
Coming back to people being less-than-nice to me when the team I was on didn’t win the game for the class period because I ducked out of the way when the ball came near me, one of the best things about working out on my own is the mere fact that no one can get mad at me if I don’t do my best on any given day. Seriously, if I don’t achieve my goals for my workout session or I knowingly don’t try my best, no one can get mad at me but myself. After all, it’s my workout, and it’s all on me. My performance affects me and me alone. It is also up to me how I approach myself on the days when I don’t perform my best. Will I be brutally honest with myself about my performance? Yes, I know when I could have done better. However, I can choose the tone in which I speak to myself about the matter.
I can’t exactly say that the jocks used the most constructive tone with me 99% of the time. The tone was often more degrading and insulting.
Ultimately, my perfomance all comes down to me. No one is relying on me, and I don’t have to rely on anyone but myself.
I feel as if most of my points here are running together, so I’ll keep this one brief. Overall, I simply prefer to rely upon myself and myself alone. I thrive when I set my own goals and go at my own pace. I thrive when no one else is in my ear about what I should be doing. (This isn’t to say that I don’t love constructive criticism, guidance, or being kindly corrected.) I think you get the idea here; I simply thrive when I am on my own, when I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. If I have a great workout, that’s my own accomplishment. If I have a crummy workout, it only affects me. If I get injured, that’s my own fault.
I simply didn’t enjoy the games in gym class. I like my workouts.
I feel as if I have already said this many times over, but seriously, I just did not enjoy the games we were playing in gym class. Where were the yoga and pilates in gym class? Where was the dance? Where was the Zumba? Where was the HIIT? Why was it all basketball, volleyball, tennis, and team sports? Heck, why were we not being taught workouts that we could do on our own at home? Why weren’t we being taught to find joy in fitness? Why weren’t we being taught how to build a sustainable fitness routine? Maybe I’m preaching to the choir here, but there has to be a better way to build the curriculum for physical education, but that’s a conversation for another day.
